Nightmare: Dreaming the Truth
by Kastlefan301
Summary: Castle and Kate get stuck on a case and end up back at Castle's loft to continue their research. Kate has a whopper of a nightmare that leads to some interesting results.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: Castle and everything about it belongs to ABC, AWM, and TEM, not me. This piece of fan fiction is for my entertainment as well as that of my fellow Castle fans without monetary gain whatsoever. It's simply a means to practice my writing.

_Credit for some of the dialogue in chapter one goes to my best friend Sara and the rain and storm suggestion is courtesy of my friend and fellow sewing buddy, Casketteer Irma Romero. Thanks girls. Thanks also to Peter for helping me learn how to improve syntax and structure as well as taking the time to offer helpful constructive criticisms._

NIGHTMARE: DREAMING THE TRUTH

Chapter 1

Castle and Kate had left the precinct that drizzly late October evening five months after that horrible day in May that changed all their lives. It was nearly seven and they'd gotten very little accomplished on their case and they'd been at it since dawn. Seemed like everywhere they turned on this damn mystery was a dead end or wound back around to some illogical conclusion.

Even Kate had started pulling Castle-like ideas off the top of her head but got no results. She'd sat next to Castle on the desk in the bullpen, both of them scowling in concentration at the murder board. Throughout the long and tiring day, they'd collected and posted information on the board, which now was full with photos and written facts about the victim and their meager list of suspects.

"Argh!" Kate growled, widening her eyes. "This is so damned frustrating! There's something here but I can't seem to put my finger on it."

Sliding off the desk, she walked over to the board and stood in front of it with her fingers cupped to her lips and a frown of concentration creasing her brows. Her eyes darted around the board as she reread the written facts they'd posted and compiled during the day. She stared begrudgingly at the data as if the answer, written in invisible ink, would now magically appear with the heat of her frustrated exclamation.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Castle replied dryly, looking at her with solemn puppy dog eyes. "It's here. _We_ just have to figure things out," he added with a longing stare at her face.

He meant what he said in more ways than one. He meant not just the case, but also their relationship stuck where it was like she didn't remember him confessing his love as he'd held her bloodied body in his arms that frightening day. He continued staring at her wondering if she really understood his complete meaning. Little did he know with the lingering and searching look she gave him that she'd heard both his meanings loud and clear.

Troubled and concerned by the storm of emotions she saw raging in his darkened blue eyes, she focused back on the board and pretended to study the case clues.

Things hadn't been the same between them since the shooting. They were uneasy around each other, almost tense at times, and they had problems making theory together as they so easily had in the past. It was as if they were floating on separate wavelengths and not finding the right frequency to match each other. Their former symphony of harmony and matching chords was now the cacophony of unharmonious discord.

He wanted to reach out to her and calm her storm —their storm. Chase away their clouds of doubt, fear, and trepidation to reveal the light. Match the wavelengths of their souls and restore their harmony. But, she seemed different and more introspective these days.

He sensed somehow, as if by magic, her inner emotional turmoil. He was acutely aware that her maelstrom of feelings was leading her to the brink of a revelation—finding the truth.

"So, what's your theory, Castle?" Kate asked flatly as she drew her eyes from the board and looked at Castle, who was still staring at her.

"I think it's the girlfriend's other lover," he stated matter-of-factly after a brief pause as her voice drew him out of his thoughts.

Kate expected him to elaborate his idea and hesitated with an expectant look on her face waiting for him to continue. When he didn't, she gave him a knowing look so he would. He didn't respond. Now that was different.

"Really, the girlfriend's other lover?" Kate asked with raised brows, an incredulous look on her face. "What, no story and no grand theory?"

He shrugged his shoulders in disregard.

"That makes no sense because he's got an airtight alibi. It's her best friend, Castle." She sounded a little frustrated, irritated, and disappointed.

"Well, you asked what I thought so I told you," he said in a low voice, frowning.

"Why aren't we on the same wavelength with this?" she questioned tersely.

"Maybe because I can't read your mind today," he quipped with a sarcastic edge to his voice and a stony tightness to his handsome features.

"That's because I lost it earlier," Kate tried in a lighter tone and sort of smiled at her dryly humorous comment. She was trying to lighten up his attitude. He was too gloomy and not himself at all. But, he'd missed the amusement she was trying to spin on her words and instead took it as sarcastic and chiding.

"Fine," he shot back while standing up from the desk. "Just because you're frustrated you don't have to bite my head off."

"Whoa, time out, Rick," she said, lowering her voice and making a T with her hands as she walked nearer to him. "I wasn't. What's with you anyway?" she asked, looking deep into his eyes as she placed her hand on his elbow and gave it a light squeeze.

"What's with you?" he countered, staring back.

"I'm just trying to lighten things up here. It's too gloomy," she gave him a meaningful look.

_There it is_, he thought, _she knows we're both off kilter and it bothers her as much as it does me_.

"Look," he said with a breath forcing a smile on his face in an attempt to cheer them both. "Why don't we get out of here, score us some take out, and go to my place? Might help get the creative juices flowing to get out of here, hum," he smirked, making circular motions around his temples with his fingers like he was winding up a spring and then tapping the sides of his head.

"Creative juices, Castle?" She raised her brows and held his eyes for a minute while an ornery smile played around her lips. _It's a good idea he can't read my mind_, she thought, _because I'd have to explain why I thought that sounded naughty._

"Um, that sounded dirtier than I meant it," he chuckled.

She looked back at him almost guiltily, but her smile from knowing his mind went where hers had gone was replaced with a more thoughtful look. She sighed as a small frown creased her brow.

_First time he's smiled all day, _she noted. _Oh how I love that smile. I wish I could do something to get him out of his funk. Something's wrong and he's not telling me. Course, I haven't told him what I'm thinking either. Damn, I'm doing it again. I've got to be honest with him or we'll get nowhere. I wish I wasn't afraid of this between us._

"Are you ready?" he asked, seeing her thoughtful expression.

"Yep, it's your turn to buy dinner so you drive," she smiled, rousing herself from her internal monologue and tossing him the keys, which he deftly caught. Picking up a couple boxes of case files and heading to the elevator, they left for the evening.

After taking the elevator down to street level, they strolled out of the precinct. Walking to the car, they were caught in the light drizzle that had been sporadically wetting the city from gray moody clouds since before daybreak. They both climbed into the car, Castle started the engine, and then pulled the car into traffic. Then, they stopped by Remy's and picked up burgers, fries, and sodas for dinner.

Now, in the car on their way to Castle's loft with the two of them staring out the windshield, there was a slightly uncharacteristic, tense silence. The soft whooshing sound of tires running on wet pavement filtered into the vehicle and heightened the already palpable soundlessness. Rick flicked on the wipers to an intermittent speed as the windshield collected the small raindrops that were spitting down from above.

It was as if nature herself was reflecting the dismal, almost sorrowful attitude of the car's two occupants. The slow, rhythmic swishing of the wipers added to the uptight, melancholy thoughtfulness that pervaded the warm interior of the auto.

Usually, in months past when things were better between them, they chatted about the case, or she listened to his concerns about Alexis, or they sang along with the radio, but not tonight. Tonight, there was silence. They were introspective as their minds were whirling with their own thoughts and feelings.

_I miss our closeness_, he considered as he glanced to her.

_I miss our closeness_, she mused sadly as she gazed over at him.

Their eyes met and held a moment as if they just touched the depth of each other's souls.

Only the universe knew they had just thought the same thing right at the same time.

Hours later at the loft, after dinner was long gone and the sun had long ago slipped below the horizon leaving in its sleepy wake the black of night, they continued pouring over files and evidence for the case. The drizzle continued intermittently though they weren't aware of its light pings against the windows.

They were alone. Martha, Alexis, and Ashley had gone to a dinner theater play and subsequent cast party for an actress friend of Martha's and wouldn't be back until after twelve thirty. Castle sat in his favorite leather chair in the sitting area by his study while Kate sat crossed legged on the leather sofa nearby.

Castle had changed out of his black pinstriped suit and had put on worn jeans and a blue and white striped flannel shirt. Kate had kicked off her heels under the coffee table in front of her hours ago and was still in her black dress slacks and stylish blue blouse that buttoned down the front. She'd visually checked the internal locking system safety on the grip of her Glock 19 and snapped it back into her shoulder holster. Though she remained wearing the holstered gun for safety, she opted for a bit of comfort and set her badge and cuffs on the table.

Phone and financial records, crime scene photos, Lanie's autopsy reports with the forensic toxicologist's findings, and notes from witnesses and suspect interviews were spread across the tables, on the floor, and around the end of the couch. They were searching for the one piece of elusive information that would break the case. They'd even commandeered Castle's electronic "murder board" he used for writing by putting up all their data on its lighted screen. At first they'd used his board a lot as they kept posting information from their evidence, but as the evening wore on they were back to square one.

Nothing in all their information added up, not even after another round of brainstorming and argumentatively discussing the facts. They were frustrated with the case and interacting with that was the difficult condition of their relationship, and so each had delved into their separate stacks of evidence in tense silence.

Now, as time ticked away and the light sputtering drizzle continued their tension dissolved into silent concentration and thought.

Kate sat cross legged staring down at the paperwork on her lap trying to focus. Looking up from the documents to give her eyes a break she blinked several times attempting to clear her vision. Then looking down at her watch she saw it was just after eleven o'clock. She was getting tired, her eyes hurt from the constant scanning, and again her vision blurred in fatigue. Rubbing her eyes carefully she blinked a few times and ended up gazing over at Castle. He had a frown of concentration on his face and his lips were slightly pursed in thought.

_He's so cute when he does that_, she thought. _I bet he doesn't even realize how adorable that is_.

She took the opportunity to study him while he wasn't watching. _Beautiful eyes_, she mused, and let her eyes scan down his handsome face to his puckered lips. Her gazed lingered there as she remembered the crushing, sweet taste of his lips on hers, the blazing passion, and the aching need of desire of the kiss they'd shared months ago.

Involuntarily, her fingers went up to her lips, which seemed to tingle just at the memory. Slowly running her fingers back and forth across her parted lips in an imitation of his kisses she thought of the muscular hardness of his body tightly pressed against hers as she'd clung to him. The way they'd both hungrily drank of each other's lips like they were each other's first drink of water after a long drought, or trek through the desert. Aroused by the erotic memory, her nipples hardened, her breasts grew heavy, her breathing quickened, and the warm seat of her feminine desire moistened and fluttered.

She sighed audibly. He looked up hearing her sexy sounding, breathy exhale and his eyes caught and held hers. He saw her desire, wanting, and need for him and his love, his being, playing in the depth of those sparkling green pools. Her cheeks were flushed looking like she was aroused by remembering something intimate between them. She looked away in embarrassment and lowering her fingers from her lips she blushed more knowing he'd caught her staring.

Continuing his stare at her, a slight smile tugging the side of his lips, Castle appreciated her shy, girly smile and the way her rosy cheeks seemed to make her glow.

"You look tired," he said after a moment, clearing his throat while glancing down and attempting to cover the fact he'd caught her staring. He set down the stack of crime scene photos he was studying on the edge of the table giving her his undivided attention.

"I think my eyes crossed a half hour ago," she mused, yawning. "I should go."

"No, you shouldn't," he said more harshly then he intended.

Kate raised her brows with a questioning look on her face in response to his loud outburst.

Realizing from the look on her face that his voice was louder than he meant it to be, he softened his tone and continued.

"You're tired and I don't like the idea of you driving home alone after dark. Not since…." He caught himself so not to think of the grimmest day of his life.

"Castle, I'm a cop. I can take care of myself," she said firmly and tersely with an irritated frown. Tossing down her pile of notes and phone records onto the coffee table, she uncrossed her legs and stood up from the couch to leave.

"I wasn't suggesting you can't," he placated, slightly raising his voice. "I know I've been overprotective lately, Kate, but I just…I don't want anythi…." He trailed off, running his hands through his thick, brown hair as a spiral of emotions choked his voice and his eyes welled with tears. "I don't want anything to happen to you," he finished softly.

"I know," she said in a gentler tone as the look on his face and the tears lingering in his eyes touched her heart and made her feel bad for upsetting him. She sat back down. "It's sweet that you are being that way, really." She smiled at him and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch along with a nearby pillow knowing that he was right and spending the night there was her safest choice.

"You can have the guest room, you know," he suggested, flipping on the TV with the remote and turning down the volume as he commiserated the fact that he had no theories to offer on their case or any ideas on how to resolve their issues and fix their relationship.

"I know but if you're going to be in here for a while then the couch is fine." Somehow right then, the fact he was playing the all heroic, stalwart knight and guarding her struck a resonating chord in her heart and she didn't want to be away from his protective presence.

_If he feels better with me right here knowing where I am, so be it_, she thought. _Truth is right now that's just what I need, a part of him—his essence—a bit of his warmth and comfort even if things aren't quite right with us. _

She collected and stacked the disarray of evidence she had spread across the other end of the couch and placed them on the coffee table. Then stretching out on the couch under the blanket she soon started dozing off as her head sank into the softness of the pillow.

Gazing over at her, he quickly became lost in thought as she sighed sleepily from the comfort of the couch. Staring off into space, he wished again that things were closer between them like they had been; before Hurricane Demming, Gina, and the now infamous and relinquished Doctor to the World, who ironically, had healed her physically, but not emotionally.

Then now there were the physical and emotional repercussions from her shooting. He understood that healing physically and mentally from such a near death trauma took time. But he hated this uneasy feeling, distance and disunity, which were growing between them none the less. Their world seemed out of focus or off balance somehow as if it were the atmosphere destabilized by the rising pressure caused from warm air rising and meeting cool air falling. A storm was certain to develop.

Ignoring the images on the TV and the light spattering of rain on the windows, Castle refocused his eyes on her. His heart beat wildly with so many emotions looking at the woman he so desperately and completely loved. This woman, who had in so many ways, become his life.

He didn't know if she remembered him confessing those three important words of love those months ago. That made him sad. Though, having her with him here and now gave him a comfort despite the fact that their relationship was uneasy and on edge.

_Maybe we just need a good long heart to heart talk_, he swirled the idea in his head. _Or_, he continued, _I could just kiss her senseless like she needs and make her face that desire for me I know is there. Make her face her fears. Right, then she gets pissed, whoosh, the walls go back up, I get punched, and I'm back at square freaking one. _

_Great idea Rick, good strategy_, he rolled his eyes at himself. _Talk is better. She has to hear what's in my heart. We can't keep going on like this._

He sighed and realized Kate had completely fallen asleep. Her beautiful features had relaxed and her breathing was slow and deep. Castle dimpled a small grin, loving the way she looked.

_I wish she looked that relaxed and happy all the time_, he thought.

Little did he know she was far from happy or relaxed and would soon come face to face with her fears as her mind had floated her off into a horrid and thunderous dream…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kate fell asleep quickly after laying her head down on the plush softness of the pillow. Within minutes her mind floated her off into dreams. But this was no pleasant dive into the fantasy of the subconscious. This was a nightmare and the scary, night dwelling, imaginary monsters living under the bed crawled out and became real in the dark recesses of her mind…

Eerily, she saw herself at a distance as if she was seeing her likeness in a movie and she was a spectator. She saw herself moving quietly, cautiously, and with gun drawn defensively through a nearly darkened, deserted warehouse.

The only light present radiated down from the sporadically spaced overhead fixtures that resembled large, military like, metal spotlights. They made eerily glowing, cone shaped shafts of light in the darkness that ended in pools of light on the floor. The contrast between the light and darkness was dramatic in an unsettling way and added to Kate's discomfort.

She was searching and searching—but for what, whom, and why?

She was alert and on the defensive creeping forward into the darkened expanse of the building. Her eyes having now adjusted to the dimness scanned back and forth for whom or what could be threatening. She had a bad feeling about this. This situation felt too ominous to be right. Kate heard a scraping, shuffling sound of someone or something moving around and her head darted toward the direction of the noise.

She saw a shadow scoot fleetingly across the wall to her left as the object making the shadow scurried around in the darkness. The mysterious and unseen thing stopped far ahead of her in an area that was backlit from some unknown light source and an oddly shaped shadow formed and rested on the wall.

Abruptly, the shadow changed into some grotesque form, lengthening and distorting into an indefinable figure. It seemed to assume a human form at first, but as the silhouette moved and stretched further away down the wall, quickly vanishing around a corner, it shifted into a skewed shape resembling a monstrous animal with a whipping tail.

Though guarded more than fearful, Kate kept her eyes leveled where the shadow disappeared and she saw herself moving slowly and stealthily like a tiger tracking its prey. She was wary of everything; every object, every noise and every smell.

Suddenly, as if through a sixth sense, she realized the reason she was here—Castle. She had to find him.

She was searching for him because she had to be with him to be happy and, she realized with a snap of honesty, that she loved him. It was as if her dream self, her subconscious, was telling her real self the truth about him and their relationship.

Castle was here in this very warehouse. She felt his presence calling her in her head, heart, and very being as if the universe had permanently linked their souls together and refused to separate them no matter what the cause or reason.

She was afraid she admitted to herself, that something bad could happen to him and that made her uneasy. Her unease made her heart beat faster, her breath quicken, and caused the hair on her arms and the back of her neck to stand up.

_Relax, Kate_, she heard her dream personality telling her real self to calm down.

Willing herself to breathe steadily she pushed down her trepidation and secured a reign on her fears and panic over Castle. Now wasn't the time for personal reflection. Now was the time to be strong, as strong as she could muster. She had to save the one man, the only man, who she truly knew had won her heart and soul.

"Well, Detective Beckett," a male voice suddenly sneered in an ominous tone to her right.

Fast as lightening, she whipped around to the direction of the voice with her gun aimed and ready to shoot. There, standing in one of the cone-shaped curtains of light spilling down from above was Jerry Tyson, 3XK himself. He had returned.

She swore softly to herself and kept her Glock trained directly at him. Level and steady. This time the sick son of a bitch wouldn't get away…

Castle continued his loving watch over a sleeping Kate. Though the TV was on he didn't watch it. He was too caught up and entranced with her and his thoughts. She had moved a bit he noticed and he saw her eyes darting back and forth under closed lids.

_She's dreaming_, he thought with a smile. _A good one I hope, about me….us_.

He was glad he'd convinced her to stay and not go home. Even if she'd have protested with all her might there was no way in hell he would have let her leave being tired and not alert.

_Complacency gets you killed, _he thought with a shudder. _No, it's better she's here. I want her sleeping here with me. Yeah…_with _me. Mmmm._

Though concern for her safety was his purpose, his love and desire for her also drove his intent. He couldn't help but imagine them together in his bed with her nude body, glistening with perspiration from making love, snuggled tightly and draped erotically on top of him. He imagined her head on his bare chest with her long, auburn hair flowing over her back and partially falling on his arms as they nestled together, their bodies sated after making love many times.

He inhaled sharply, softly groaned, and then sighed a shaky, frustrated puff of breath at the very thought of them together like that.

_We have to talk, fix this, and get things out in the open_, he decided. _Enough keeping feelings close to the vest. Screw that. Life is too short to mess around, Kate. We _both_ know that_.

Thinking back to their argument months ago, he considered what he'd told her about never talking of their kiss or nearly freezing to death together, and now about the biggest thing, her shooting, and what that meant to her and him.

He wished at that point back then he'd have just come clean and told her how he felt regardless of her defensive anger to hide her fear and doubt and regardless of his own insecurities. If he'd told her he loved her, perhaps she'd have stood down and listened to him. Maybe she'd have been more careful. Maybe she wouldn't have been shot. Maybe they'd be at a better point in their relationship right now instead of having this uneasy and unnatural tension.

_Maybe, maybe, maybe, _he thought. _Wishful thinking doesn't make it real_.

What had happened had happened and he couldn't change it. All he could do was make his stand by staying with her and help her through things the best way he could.

_Leave the window open_, he thought. _She'll come in out of the rain when she's ready_.

Castle saw she'd moved and the blanket was now only partially covering her. He got up from his chair, gently recovered her, and then delicately fingered the hair around her face. As he'd laid the blanket back over her, he thought he heard a distant, deep rumble. Was that a train or a bus? No. Was that a growl of thunder?

Listening again for the sound while walking over to the window, he parted the curtains and looked out. He saw a bright distant flash of lightning and then heard the same low, rolling and rumble of thunder. A storm was brewing and coming soon.

Glancing over at Kate, he saw that she seemed agitated and tense like she was facing something stressful in her dream. Little did he know how right he was as a very realistic drama continued to play in Kate's mind….

Tyson stepped out of the cone of light and came toward Kate. The harsh, creepy blanching the light had done to his features was now replaced with a dimness that made him look all the more deadly. He appeared to be shimmering or was he vibrating so fast that the shimmer was an illusion?

Suddenly, in a flash he seemed to shift shape into some composite beast. He was partially human and partially animal and brandished gnashing teeth, claws, and a whipping tail. Abruptly, the shimmering vibration returned and he appeared human again.

Kate stared in consternation.

"I knew you'd eventually find me here Detective," he said in a menacing tone. "I made it too easy leaving your writer monkey's phone on so you could trace it."

"Where is he?" Kate demanded in an even, deadly tone keeping her gun and eyes trained on him as her eyes narrowed and never faltered. She concentrated on him but her interest was in where he'd stashed Castle. She was so focused on Tyson and finding Castle that she missed the strangely familiar and acrid smell lingering in the air.

"Think I'm going to tell you. Where's the fun in that? You see, Detective, it's all part of the plan to get you here and mess with you and your pansy of a boyfriend."

Kate's face partially slackened in guilt and then froze in a convicted frown as she swallowed hard and tried to keep a blank look.

True, though they weren't dating and he technically wasn't her boyfriend, she still felt that pull for Castle to belong to her and there was no way Tyson could know anything about her or Castle's feelings.

_Keep it together, Kate_, she heard her dream persona telling her real self almost in an echoing melodic whisper.

"Ah, I see it's true," Tyson taunted in an ominous chuckle. "The look's all over your face."

_Damn it_, she cringed inside, he read her like a book even though she tried to make her face neutral.

"Yes, Detective I know all about your so-called romance with him. I've followed you two around for months and you never figured out I was there in background, in the dark. I saw everything–the looks and the touches. Anyone can see the two of you are hot for each other," he sneered in a sickly seductive way.

"I've been giving him a good going over," he continued, taunting with an evil glimmer in his stony eyes, "and having a good time fucking with his head. Though looks like he grew some balls since that first meeting. Put up quite a strugg…"

"Where… is...he?" Kate interrupted, demanding again in a louder voice that was hard-edged and cutting like sharpened steel as her features turned intensely stony and her eyes became cold, green ice under furrowed brows. Her finger twitched on the trigger of her gun.

"Oh, he's someplace around here," Tyson wickedly smiled and gestured a circle around him indicating the expanse of the warehouse. "Have fun finding him though because I smashed that damn phone of his to plastic shards."

He chuckled sardonically, cunningly as if he had a secret.

Her eyes narrowed a fraction more and their cold, steely stare became absolutely frigid.

"Oh, and Detective…you've got a time limit too."

Suddenly, Tyson struck a match and its bright flame flared. He tossed it a few feet away into a pool of gasoline. It was then, with a sickening feeling making her stomach nearly clench with nausea that Kate realized what that odd smell was.

The match ignited the gas and instantly the area lit with bursting flames. Instinctively, Kate shielded herself with her arm up against the heat and fire. The fire quickly spread across the floor, racing along the gas and its fumes toward a mountainous stack of nearby wooden crates. They caught fire quickly adding to the conflagration.

Kate snatched down her arms to maintain her view on Tyson and noticed a strange, eerie emblem like a business's trademark stamped in black ink on the sides of the crates that hadn't caught fire. It was a growling composite beast, a roaring lion with an odd head, wings and a whipping tail. She shuddered.

"Have fun Detective Beckett, or maybe that's Detective Heat," Tyson laughed evilly at his own joke, quickly darting away.

Kate fired, once, twice, three times as Tyson sprinted away from her! The loud cracking of the shots echoed into the expanse of darkness.

He sprinted around a corner to her right. She'd missed.

"Damn it!" she exclaimed.

Racing after him, she quickly caught up to him and saw his strange shimmering vibration returning. He shifted into that hideous, dragon-like beast that she'd glimpsed before. Before she knew it, he'd somehow managed to race far ahead of her and she saw him disappear around another corner and vanish in a shadowy flourish with a fling of that whipping tail.

Tyson, or whatever it was, had melded into the dark and she'd failed. She'd failed again to apprehend her and Castle's menace. He was now still out there. So was the dragon. Both were foes and fears they could easily face together again. She–her dream persona and her own subconscious–now faced the fear of reality that engulfed her and Castle. She couldn't focus on that fear now though. She had to be strong and do what her heart demanded.

Now, with her section of the warehouse quickly filling with choking, stenching smoke and the fire quickly and easily spreading across the floor, up the crates and towards the darkened ceiling, her only desire was seeking for and finding the one man she realized was her love, her only, her one and done.

"Castle? Castle!" she ran away from the flames as they inched closer. "Caaassttle!"

Her drawn out yell disappeared into the darkness. She ran another direction trying to find him.

Suddenly, the movie type images before her seemed to shift and became distorted.

She saw herself running but there were two of her. One image of herself–the young girl with fear, doubt, and hurt in her green eyes who was afraid to lose people she loves–ran head long into the other image of herself–her tough as nails cop self who was fighting Tyson, the dragon, and the one afraid to take a chance and let herself fall in love with Castle. It was as if her separate parts had merged into a cohesive singularity.

Her point of view changed and she was no longer watching herself like a movie, but was now seeing the images through her own eyes and feeling things through her own body. Her anxiety increased as she felt and witnessed everything. Her mission was now even more tenuous and desperate. She had to find Castle.

Again, she ran in another direction all the while worriedly and frantically calling his name as loudly as possible.

"Castle? Rick?"

She heard nothing.

Nothing but the ever present and eerie snapping and popping of the growing fire. There was nothing but the stench of the smoke and flames. She coughed and covered her mouth and nose with her hand and continued her hastened search. She had to find him, fast, and get them out, or they'd be incinerated.

_Great_, she realized, _this time we'll die burning instead of freezing_. She panicked a bit and a growing, stealthy fear made her eyes well with tears.

_Stop it Kate_, she yelled at herself in her head, _keep it together. Stay with Castle, stay with Castle. You have to find him and not leave him, not leave him, ever. It's always…for always_.

She continued running through the warehouse, searching and searching.

_Scarily, my worst fear of losing Rick is now coming horribly true_, she thought as she bit her lip in anguish and her chin trembled….


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Castle saw the sky growing blacker and cloudier even through the darkness as he watched the developing storm growing closer. He heard another lingering and resonating rumbling growing in the distance and saw another closer cascade of lightning bolts zipping through the clouds. He pulled the curtains completely closed so the flashes wouldn't bother Kate.

Turning away from the window, he ran a hand nervously through his hair. The storm moving nearer accentuated his existing unease and edginess all the more. Nature, it seemed, was reinforcing the unsettling imbalance that his stormy relationship with Kate brought him. He couldn't help being concerned and feel out of sorts seeing Kate upset in her sleep.

Trying to distance himself from the negative effects of the storm and gain some control over his discomfort, he walked from the window back over to the couch. He glanced down at Kate to see how she was. She seemed in distress and her chin trembled. Her faced looked flushed. He heard her mumble something that sounded like his name but wasn't sure. She was on edge in her sleep just like she could be while awake.

He pulled the blanket up even further over her as if to protect her from the influences of the dream and storm. Sitting down next to her and gazing at her rosy cheeks, he remained pensive.

_It only figures I'd know she's upset_, he thought. _We're linked naturally somehow in a way that's magic, even during dreams. I'm feeling her distress now like I do when she's awake. This damn storm doesn't help matters._

He saw her eyes darting under closed lids and knew she was still dreaming. Her body was tense and she was restless. Her head slowly lolled back and forth on the pillow and her legs were gradually moving up and down as if she were running. Her eyes had tears lingering around them. Whatever was happening in the dream was making her agitated and upset. Attempting to calm her, he gently moved a lock of hair off her forehead with his fingers and tenderly caressed her face with his large hand.

"Kate," he uttered her name and softly touched her arm. She didn't respond, but little did he know that his gentle voice and presence next to her would manifest themselves in her dream as a soothing and resonating whisper giving her strength and hope to continue…

Frantically, Kate raced around the darkened warehouse. She seemed to be going in circles.

The fire was spreading and growing hotter and brighter as it consumed more and more. The building took on an eerie, orange and yellow glow as if some strange otherworldly craft had landed or some bizarre stage lighting had been lit.

The snapping of the fire grew louder even as Kate moved away from it. The sound echoed all around her, encompassing her, near but far away, like the growing rumble of thunder as a storm approached. She made no sense of direction and continued searching and calling for Castle.

"Castle? Castle!" she yelled again.

She stopped, breathless, panting in exertion, as she squinted further into the darkness around her. A wave of smoke wrapped her in a dangerous veil of gray making her lungs burn with each breath while it blocked part of her vision. Her eyes watered and she coughed in response to the vaporous attack. The curtain of smoke circling around her felt like a heavy shroud and seemed to weigh her down. She felt stuck in place.

"Rick? Rick?" she yelled in a desperate sob and choked again.

Covering her nose and mouth with her hand to ease and quiet her coughing, she listened more intently.

But again there was nothing.

Nothing but the cruel, crackling and popping sound of the fire and the loud, erratic thrumming of her heart in her ears.

No Rick.

Her eyes welled in tears of dread and fright that then fell despite her attempt to control them.

She stood alone crying in the hovering partial darkness and then, in an emotional tumult of anger and fear, sadness and uncertainty, she sank to her knees feeling the cold hardness of the concrete floor. She felt like she was lost, drowning and floundering in a flood of despair and worry. Her fear surrounded and overwhelmed her. Was she too late?

"Riiicckkk!" she let out a painful wail and only had the dimming echoes of her anguish rush back at her in an avalanche of sound from every direction.

Angrily, she swiped the tears from her face and ran a nervous, shaky hand through her long, auburn hair.

_I have to go on, _she told herself vehemently_. Suck it up Kate. What would Castle say at a time like this? I'm extraordinary because I care, I fight, and I don't give up. Because I hang in there? Yeah, right, _she thought with derision_. I don't feel too extraordinary right now. I'm scared, Rick. I'm lost. Help me!_

Momentarily, she gave in to her tears and they ran like small streams down her anguished face. She clutched her chest and stomach in panic feeling hollow, empty, and nauseated from the storm of emotions spreading through her like wildfire. She bent over wrapping her arms tighter around herself, forcing out louder sobs. But, in the midst of her cries she swore she heard a nearby whisper.

Mystified, she softened her lament and sat more upright, listening, though the tears continued their slow watery cascade down the sides of her cheeks. Her ears strained to hear any sound. Then there, again, she heard that familiar voice. In a quiet echo like he was whispering into her ear she heard Rick's soft voice in her ears urging her on.

_Don't give up Kate. I'm here. You know I've got your back, honey. Always_.

Their special word and that sweet endearment made her eyes fill again with more tears.

_Stop it Kate_, she scolded herself blinking back tears with a tense face. _Butch up, he needs you. Now you have to have _his_ back. _You_ told _him_ always too…_

The minutes ticked by and Castle continued sitting next to Kate, watching her with concern etched on his face. His focus was completely on this woman he loved and nothing would take his concentration from her plight.

_Something bad is happening in this dream. She's more upset_, he realized as he saw the tears lingering on her lashes and pooling around her closed lids slide down the sides of her face. Her body trembled, becoming more restless, and more tears escaped making wet tracks down her cheeks. Again, she mumbled something incoherent and her features tightened. Clenching her hands into fists, her body shuddered with tension. Her breathing quickened and her face flushed a deeper red.

"Kate?" he said, gently squeezing her arm. "Kate."

She didn't wake though he said her name louder. He lightly shook her left shoulder but she didn't respond.

_She having a nightmare_, he thought. _Oh god, I hope it's not about the shooting._

He put his left hand on the other side of her hips near the back of the couch. Her body was straddled between his arm and hips.

"Kate," he urged again still louder, leaning in a bit towards her, but to no avail.

Ominously, thunder rolled and clapped even closer and louder. A blinding streak of lightening ricocheted through the darkness. Another malevolently, sly fork of it snaked through the fabric of the drapes and around the room in an eerie natural lightshow whose purpose seemingly was to maliciously mock the painful discomfort Kate felt from the hellish images of her dream.

Castle involuntarily blinked at the flash and startled from the clap of thunder. The storm was closing in quickly, much faster than he realized.

Kate jerked and heaved a deep breath. For a brief moment, Castle thought she woke up, but he knew she didn't when she failed to open her eyes. She stiffened more, as if she heard the sounds, and her restless motions and tenseness continued.

Another flash of lightning lit the room for less than a second and more nearby growls of thunder vibrated the air.

Castle's internal swirling storm of emotions over his concern for Kate and his uncertainty of how to mend their troubled relationship was augmented by the tempestuous accompaniment. Nature's stormy ruckus and tension seemed intent to continue unbalancing the atmosphere above the city as well as that of Castle's and Kate's emotions and souls.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Somehow, during the heightening tension of the storm, Kate's dreaming mind registered reality. The darkness of her emotional and personal fears warped the tension of the storm into her own growing emotional tempest. With every spark of lightning and growl of thunder, the malfeasance of her dream's hellish images grew in intensity…

Kate gathered her courage while heaving in a large gasp of air that she slowly expelled. Pushing herself up from her knees to stand she drew a final deep breath to focus her racing thoughts. Squaring her shoulders, she bravely swiped the tears from her eyes while stifling a sniffle. Running diagonally across the warehouse floor she resumed her relentless and urgent searching.

She advanced through yet another portion of the warehouse that contained some sort of machinery and vehicles where rounded cardboard barrels were stacked in cubes and pyramids. This section of the warehouse was different and one she knew she hadn't searched.

_Keep going, Kate, keep going_, she urged herself. _You were running around in circles. No wonder you weren't finding him._

The fact that she was in a different section of the warehouse and that Rick could be nearby bolstered her hope and determination.

"Rick!" she called again as loudly as she could. "Rick?"

Her head darted one way and then the other as she called out. Her ears strained for any noise of movement or any sort of sound.

There was nothing.

Her heart and stomach clenched in dread. She had to find Rick. The eerie emptiness of complete silence was so loud and palpable that in a sudden and panicking rush of fear her heart pounded erratically in desperation.

The fire was raging nearby in the building and she could still smell the growing stench of burning wood, metal, wiring and gasoline. Thin veils of smoke kept wafting by and around her, sometimes nearly enveloping her as if they were specters ruefully engaging her in a deceptive and deadly dance.

Steeling herself against her fear, she continued through this different section of the warehouse. It grew darker and darker the more she cantered. She was moving away from the light of the fire as the eerie orange glowing receded behind her and the smells, sounds, and smoky vapors slowly vanished.

She passed more machinery and vehicles though in the growing darkness she could only make out dark shadowy outlines. Pressing on, she continued into the darkness and her eyes began to adjust again to the lack of light.

Then up ahead, she discerned the coned, spotlighting effect of the overhead light fixtures. Faltering, she panicked, believing she was going in circles again.

_No, no_, she thought. _It can't be_. More tears welled again in her eyes. _I'm never going to find him_, she wailed internally at herself. She was distraught.

"Rick!" she hollered again, drawing out his name. "Rick!"

_Why don't you answer me? Where are you? _

Her fear and frustration urged her forward. She desperately called again into the darkness. Her hands shook, her skin felt clammy, and her breath came in quick puffs. Her heart raced as she ran around a tall stack of wooden crates and cardboard barrels.

Suddenly, she sucked in a startled breath and froze in her tracks!

A second passed! It seemed to hang suspended as if in a vacuum. Two seconds! Then the breath rushed back out of her chest. She was afraid to believe her own eyes.

There was Rick barely twenty feet from her!

But something was wrong, so very wrong. Kate felt the disturbance in her very soul.

Rick was lying motionless on the cold, hard concrete floor in a pool of light —in a pool of blood….


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Castle stayed next to Kate's side watching her intently. His vigil was uninterrupted, not even by the growing storm that was ominously closing in fast. The light drizzle from earlier had metamorphosed into a stronger, more persistent rain that was determined to pound the city along with Castle's composure.

He watched her distress, growing more concerned with each passing second. Her dream and resulting discomfort was becoming weightier and had assumed a greater, more significant meaning as it pressed further on his already preoccupied mind.

He felt as if her dream was some twisted and sinister hero's challenge aimed specifically at him by some omniscient and omnipotent being. He felt like he was waging some spiritual battle for the salvation of his and Kate's mortal souls. If he failed in his quest to salvage her from the dump of her feelings and subconscious trash, would they both be doomed and condemned to wander the dark confusion of emotional limbo for all time?

No! He had to succeed. _I have to succeed or lose her and our chance of a happy future together forever_.

She was more restless now, her body trembling more and her legs moving more rapidly. Her head continued to toss side to side and her mumbling grew louder. Slight spasms raked her body and her eyes moved more under her lids like she was watching something. More and more tears slid out of her closed eyes and down her face.

"Kate," he shook her shoulder. "Wake up."

His gentle touches and voice weren't enough. She continued her agitated dance. Her arms moved and crossed over her chest like she was trying to protect herself or put up a fight.

"Rick…" she moaned in a low, garbled mumble. She shuddered again.

Castle tried again to wake her and a frown creased his brow as worry laced his blue eyes.

_What is happening in her head_, he wondered. _This is bad, bad_.

Taking both her shoulders with his hands he shook her trying to rouse her, but it was as if her dream had overtaken and possessed her.

She'd sucked in a startled breath and it whooshed back out in a fevered cry of agonized worry and distress.

"Rick?" She stifled a shrill shriek of pain. "Rick!" she cried out and the welling tears fell faster and faster. "Oh, god, oh god, please don't let me be too late," she yelled in a tear-choked voice while running over to him. She fell down to her knees beside his unmoving form.

He lay on his back, partially on his side with his arm limp over his stomach. His eyes were closed. His gray pallor made him looked washed out and ghostly. Blood was everywhere around him, soaking through his shirt and jeans, and pooling around his body. His forehead had an angry, bloody gash across it and his face had contusions over the cheeks as if he'd been severely beaten.

A reddish purple line, raw and deep and looking like a burn, ran around the front of his throat. A knotted green and white cord that was still tight around his neck hung down his back. A deep cut ran diagonally across his chest and showed through his raggedly sliced up shirt. He'd been stabbed in the lower back several times and dark red blood was still slowly oozing from the wounds through the cuts of his shirt. Reddish purple bruising, swelling, and scuffs on his knuckles showed his fingers were broken but he'd valiantly tried to fight back. Tyson had beaten and tortured him, cut him, and then strangled him.

"Rick!" she shook him forcefully, despondent and crying. "Rick!" Kate cried harder and harder, the rush of tears blurring her vision.

Her heart pounded harder in her chest and her hands shook in violent tremors. His blood was soaking through the fabric of her slacks to her skin. It's sticky coagulation and sickly sweet, iron odor clung to her clothes and filled her nose.

Quickly rolling him over, she inadvertently smeared his blood all over herself. She looked like some sort of macabre holy offering but horribly he was the sacrifice. She checked for a pulse at his neck. There was nothing. She desperately checked at his wrist. Again, there was nothing.

Leaning over his face she put her check down next to his mouth and nose hoping to feel a breath. There was none. He was cold to her shaky touch.

Rick was dead.

Her hero, her knight, her savior, as she now knew he was, was dead. A fallen, unseated, bloody sacrifice killed and executed on the altar of her fear, doubt, and stubborn pride.

She was too late…

"Riiiiccckkk." She was crying earnestly and distraughtly now, her voice full of a deep pain and anguish that resonated straight from the depths of her heart and soul.

She hauled his body to her, lugging him onto her legs and cradling his head and shoulders in her arms. "No, Rick, no," she wailed. "No, I can't be too late..."

She rocked his lifeless body with her, slowly moving back and forward crying loudly and violently. Tears raced down her face like dashing rivers that would never stop.

"Riiiiccckkk! Riiicckkk….!"

Her loud crying and wailing gave way to deep heaving sobs as she put her head down on his. Tenderly, she placed a lingering kiss on his lips, even though they were blue and cold and would never return her loving caresses. She turned her face to the ceiling and her multitude of tears cascaded down the sides of her face leaving a layer of wetness over her agonized features.

"Riiiicckkk! Noooo!" It was a guttural throaty wail from the deepest part of her being.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Kate! Kate!" Castle called louder as he kept firmly shaking her by the shoulders attempting to rouse her. But again, his valiant efforts failed. His worry and angst increased. He was fearful because she wasn't waking up and she was in distress.

_I hate seeing her like this_, he firmly thought. _This has to stop now_!

"Kate! God, please don't let something be wrong with her."

Was there something physically wrong with her? Was this nightmare, which must be very real to her, a lingering, negative physical or mental consequence from the shooting? Had she been frequently having night terrors during these past five months and was too scared and too proud to admit that to him? Was she too scared and too proud to ask him for help?

Every tick of the clock heightened his concern and worry. Every clap of thunder growing nearer and nearer and every raindrop falling harder and harder only echoed the anxious and tumultuous spiral of his emotions.

He pushed aside his doubt with a purposeful deep breath and maintained his strength. She needed him and he had to stand strong. If there was ever a point in their relationship where he had to prove his mettle and show his salt, now was the time.

She was very restless and agitated. Her head moved quickly in frantic jerks back and forth in agitation and fear. Her arms, once across herself like she was warding off attack and trying to protect herself, now flailed against Castle's chest. He gripped her by the wrists to keep her from accidentally hitting him, but she frantically struggled against his hold.

Her legs kicked out against the blanket that was partially covering her and it fell away. She was crying hard and violently, full blown tears cascading down her face like she was awake. She cried out in torment and the sound was a desperate moan of anguish and pain coming straight from the soul.

"No, Rick, no," she moaned. "I can't be too late!"

Her body thrashed against him and the seat of the couch. Her head tossed more.

Castle rose up, putting his left leg under him and moving backward with his hips, pushed Kate's writhing body into the back cushions of the couch in an attempt to control her flailing. He leaned over her gaining more leverage while keeping firm control over her arms.

"Kate, come on! Wake up!" Castle urged louder, nearly shouting.

"Rick…" she cried, painfully sobbing his name over and over in her sleep. Her voice was loud and strained, sounding fearful. Her features were twisted in pain. She continued her violent thrashing movements all the while struggling against Castle's hold.

"Kate!" Castle yelled at her again.

A clap of thunder boomed closer and a streak of innocuous lightening sneaked through the curtains and brightly lit the room for less than a blink of an eye. He grabbed both her wrists in his left hand, pulling her arms across her chest while wrapping his right arm around her and smashing her close to his body.

"Kate!" He shook her again as hard as he could.

Her eyes flew open and she woke with a start while she was still crying out his name. Her breathing was labored and heavy, catching with each sob, tears kept streaming more and more down her face, running off the edges of her chin and splashing down on her chest.

Nature mimicked Kate's tears with a persistent and heavier downpour that continued streaking down the windows much like the tears of grief and anguish streaming down Kate's face.

Kate looked at Castle, confused, dazed, and disoriented. The look in her eyes was distant, fixed, and introspective though her focus was pinpointed on a vision someplace else that only she could see. After a few seconds, she blinked rapidly, finally focusing on him in front of her, and realized she was awake.

"Rick?" she questioned in disbelief, her brows furrowed in confusion and uncertainty.

Letting go of her wrists, Rick wrapped both arms more comfortably and securely around her.

"Rick?" She tentatively touched his face with both hands as if she didn't believe he was physically there or that she was truly awake. The disturbing nightmare was over though the menacing and horrible images of the dream continued flashing in her mind's internal cinema. Her breathing was ragged and deep, labored, and her chest heaved through the sobs. Kate remained stiff and her body shook from the tumult and intensity of her emotions that were flashing through her very soul like the lightning jumping sporadically and wildly through the dark rolling clouds in the sky.

Plunging her face into her hands and crying harder, she spontaneously and compulsively spilled a portion of the horrid visions of the dream from her lips.

"Tyson killed you, there were dragons everywhere. I was too late!" She collapsed onto Rick's chest in a convulsion of tears and emotionally wrenching sobs.

Pulling her closer he gently and slowly whispered in her ear. "Shhh. Shhh. I've got you, Kate. I've got you…always. Shhh..."

She pulled back quickly and then grabbed onto him by clutching fistfuls of his shirt and clawing at his shoulders like he was the very air she breathed and that she could never let him go without smothering to death.

"You were dead…I was too late…too late!" she painfully choked out as another wave of tears erupted.

Outside, the storm was unremitting in it's own unceasing eruption. The rain slapping noisily against the windows combined with Kate's crying and created an odd mixture of sounds to Castle's ears. The water sheeting down on the glass, bricks and stone seemed to mimic the sound of Kate's crying as if her emotional tempest was nature's tumult, or was it reversed?

"Shhh." He slowly and steadily rubbed her back with his hands, up and down, trying to calm her. He felt her heart racing and tremors intermittently racking her body. "Shhh. It's ok. I'm here. I'm ok."

He kept rubbing her back in slow, small circles keeping her body close to his. She felt the tenderness of his hands on her back and the warm sinewy strength of his big muscular arms around her as he whispered consoling and comforting words into her ear.

"Shhh. You're ok," he gently murmured again.

She was gaining strength and comfort from the warmth of his body against hers. His big arms wrapped around her, the soothing whispers of his familiar voice in her ears, and the light scent of his spicy and musky aftershave enticing her nose were things about him that gave her a long-sought-after, inner peace. She trusted no one more than she did him. Being held this way in his arms was the most natural feeling she'd ever had.

Kate absorbed his warmth, caring and compassion as if she was a sponge soaking up some emotionally cleansing and curing kind of brine. _Oh_, she realized as her internal vision suddenly focused into absolute crystal clarity. _Whenever I've needed someone _he's_ been there with me holding me up and not letting me fall. _She sighed deeper, feeling calmer. _He's made his stand and it's next to and with me. Regardless of where I go, it doesn't matter. His stand is always by my side. He's not going anywhere. He won't let me be alone_.

She allowed herself to truly feel his arms around her, the gentle up and down caresses of his tender hands on her back, and the soft breaths against her hair and in her ears as he whispered soothing words. She realized she was where she'd wanted to be since the first time they met that chilly night in March years ago.

_This feels right_, she told herself. _This is right. This is where I should be. Why have I fought this love between us for so long? Because I'm stupid and afraid I'd lose someone very important if I were wrong. But I'm not wrong! I'm right and this is right. No more fear, no more running Kate. No more hiding from him or us. This is right. We know it is._

Her breathing slowed into a more normal, easy, and relaxed rhythm. She leaned into him in surrender and ultimately stood down. He felt the differing way she eased and grew more languid in his arms. He felt her breathing slow, her heart rate return to normal, her crying stop, and her body relaxing. Finally, after those long minutes that seemed to drag on forever she must have gotten composed.

There was a calming inside, but not outside. Nature had other ideas. The storm was now nearly over the city. Lightning and thunder continued their blinding flashing and noisy booming assault while steadily growing in intensity and violence. The rain kept coming. It's watery attack was incessant.

Castle forced the tumultuous and rising din of the storm out of his thoughts. He had to remain collected for Kate's sake and then for himself. Keeping her composed at this point, when he was unclear of events in the obviously disturbing nature of her dream, was paramount. So he continued to hold her close and placed a tender lingering kiss on her head.

"You ok?" he asked in a quiet, concerned voice.

"I think so," she stammered in a deep, shuddering breath. Her throat hurt and felt raw from her wailing and crying. Her eyes were red, sore, and felt grainy like someone dumped a bucket of sand into them. She slightly pulled away from his chest and looked into the soft but concerned and worried look on his handsome face.

He looked compassionately at her red-rimmed eyes and blotchy face. His brow was wrinkled in disquieted apprehension and his blue eyes were soft with caring.

Kate breathed in a final deep and long sob that slowly caught her breath in a shaky sigh. Lifting a hand from around her he softly and ever so gently and lovingly wiped the wetness from her face.

"Let me get you a cool rag for your face," he said smiling easily, rising from the couch and walking out of his office area and then into his adjoining bedroom and bathroom. She heard the water running and in a few seconds he returned carrying a cool, wet washcloth.

"Here," he said handing her the damp, fluffy terry cloth.

"Thanks," she said lightly smiling, taking the rag and holding it on her face. She sighed contentedly as the cool wetness of the cloth soothed the hot, raw, and grainy discomfort of her eyes and the chapped, roughness of her cheeks.

Rick sat back down right next to her. There was no mistaking that this nightmare was something brought on from her post-traumatic stress caused by many things. Whether the cause was her mother's case, Tyson's haunting presence, or the effects from the shooting, the reason didn't matter. What mattered was that she had a very realistic, violent, and disturbing dream about actual, not imaginary, things. Things that could, potentially, become a horrible actuality for them both. The reality of how work related incidents could impact their personal lives and what those events could expand into was what upset him the most about her nightmare. What triggered it he didn't know, but knowing it was from the stresses she faced didn't take away his worry or the fact that he was upset because she was.

_Whatever happened in that dream_, he thought, _clearly scared the daylights out of her and was definitely about me_.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Would you like some chamomile tea?" he asked, resting his big hand on her leg as he concentrated on her. All he wanted to do at this point was keep her calm and relaxed and a hot, soothing elixir could be just what she needed.

He felt like he'd rescued her from the terror of that dream now that she was awake and calmed down. His worry and angst over her distress had slowly evaporated while he held her closely and securely in his arms.

"No," she answered, taking down the washcloth from her face and laying it on the coffee table. "I could really use a drink though. Got any liquor around here," she asked with a sigh.

"Sure. You've got it," he answered with a consoling smile while gently rubbing and then squeezing her thigh. Remembering that bottle of 1875 St. Miriam scotch, which was a gift from Captain Montgomery and Mayor Weldon for helping Kate solve a case where they'd found the Prohibition-era mayor's stash of antique booze during the course of the investigation, Rick rose from the couch and walked over to a cabinet in his study. Opening the door to the cabinet he took out the distinctive looking, blood-red colored bottle and a couple of glass tumblers. "Sorry I don't have any vodka. Hope you like scotch."

"Ah, that's what you did with it," she gently smiled as she recognized the familiar bottle in his hands. "That'll be just fine."

_Perfect, more than fine_, he thought, uncorking the bottle and tipping it to pour. _Glad I've been nursing this for months. A few good sips will do both of us good_.

She watched him pour two small portions of the dark amber liquid into the glasses and walk back over to her. Taking a sip from his own glass as he remained standing, he handed her the other.

"Thanks," she murmured, taking the glass with two shaky hands, lifting it to her lips, and taking a small sip. "Mmm, it's good, rich and smooth," she said.

"Yeah, it takes the edge off," he agreed, looking down at her sitting on the couch. He'd never seen her look as vulnerable as she did now. All he wanted to do was keep her safe and protected and make her happy. Those combined desires fueled his need to talk with her so they could work through the difficulties in their relationship.

_I hope she opens up about this_, he thought. _It's important. She's scared and upset, and this would be the perfect time for dealing with our issues. _

Slowly, they both sipped the scotch in silence for a few moments, letting the effects of the alcohol with it's smooth, rich, and oaky flavor strengthen their courage. Though the tension from their earlier discord was still evident it had lessened because of the close and tender comfort they'd just shared.

The weather, however, disagreed with their makeshift calm and maintained its tension, which grew more intense with each passing minute. It sounded angry outside and the elements battered the outside of Castle's building.

Kate tried to ignore the fury of the weather as it rang in her ears and so to hold on to her calmness, she swallowed another sip of scotch and exhaled silently. She looked up at Castle who was standing in front of her sipping his drink as he awkwardly and intermittently kept looking between her and the floor. The hesitant, but thought-filled looks playing across his face, and the way his mouth moved as if he was going to speak, suggested he wanted to say something, but didn't know how or where to start.

_It's time to talk_, she thought, intuitively reading his body language and knowing he wanted to discuss what they'd just experienced together. _He deserves an explanation and he needs to hear the truth. We need to get our issues in the open and get them solved. This distance between us has made him moody and upset. I know it has... because it's done that to me. I'm ready to be honest. I'm ready to talk._

Kate took another sip of scotch to steel her nerve and was about to say something to initiate their talk. Though before she could utter one word, Castle finally broke the silence after taking another drink of his scotch to settle his nervousness and bolster his resolve.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he questioned, finally finding the words to end their introspective silence and awkward glances. She nodded and then he continued. "Do you want to talk?" Hoping to urge her into some revealing discussion he thoughtfully considered his choice of words.

"You know talking about feelings is hard for me…" she began, looking down into the dark liquid in her glass thinking quickly about what she wanted to say. Then glancing hurriedly back up at him intending to finish her thought by telling him she was going to try, she realized with the look she saw on his face, that she'd misspoken some poorly chosen words.

His face had partially fallen and froze while a brief angry look flashed through his eyes.

"Right," he sighed in an exasperated breath growing irritated thinking she didn't want to talk. "Why do you always push me away like this when it's about emotions, hmm?" he quipped with a slight edge to his voice while shaking his head.

"Rick, wait a minute," she tried to explain. But, before she could say anything else, he gulped a mouthful of his scotch and then, frustrated and irritated, set down the glass hard on the table making the liquor slosh.

He trod away from her with a frown on his face, flinging his arms over his head, running his hands through his thick hair, and then leaving them clutched at the back of his head. He stopped several feet away from her with his back turned towards her.

"Hey," she exclaimed at his retreating back. "Rick," she urged after a brief pause as she set down her glass, stood up, and walked after him.

_Dammit_, she thought, _I've done it again. Trying to explain my feelings and I've said the wrong thing in the wrong way. Now he's mad._

She knew he was upset and irritated as she stopped next to him. She remembered his same tone of voice and hard look on his face from their fight months ago at her apartment. That disagreement was a disaster and had gotten them nowhere. The only thing it had accomplished was heightening and perpetuating a negative tension between them instead of resolving their issues of how they felt for each other and what the nature of their relationship should truly be.

She tenderly touched him on his side and when he turned around to face her with an angry scowl etched across handsome face she dropped her hands from his body. He lowered his hands from behind his head while stepping back from her. His features were tight, his eyes hard with exasperated irritation and hurt, his lips a tight line, and his body was taut.

"You know, Kate, I'm tired of us not talking about things," he said stiffly. "I'm tired of walking on eggshells around you because I don't want to upset you." His voice slightly rose in volume. "I'm tired of this distance between us. Hell, we can't even come up with coherent theory anymore let alone talk about anything else," he bit at her. "I miss our closeness."

"Rick…" she started in a softer more placating tone trying to interrupt him.

"No, I have some things to say and I'm going to say them, dammit! What kind of friendship, partnership, or whatever we have, is this, Kate, when we can't talk about what's important? Talk about us."

His voice rose louder. "Are we ever going to talk about _anything_?!

She scowled at his loud and angry tone and swallowed hard thinking this was the beginning of the end. A brief flash of hurt raced through her eyes and she felt tears pricking around their edges. Blinking, she fought the urge to let her eyes fill and glanced away from him.

Suddenly realizing from the frown on her face and the look that raced through her eyes that his voice was louder and harsher than he intended, he softened his tone. "What about that kiss? We nearly die together several times? Gina? Tom? Josh? You were shot! That was the worst day of my life! And, now this dream I know was about me and scared the shit out of you and you don't want to tell me about it?!"

He threw up his hands in frustrated exasperation. "I don't understand, Kate," he said firmly. "I don't understand why you're willing to tell me personal things from your past but then not share things in your heart that are bothering you now."

"Ouch," she said flatly, frowning as he continued to complain. The truth of his words stung and she just stared at him with lips open and a hurt look in her eyes. She knew he was right about her and that truth hurt. He'd just convicted her of several crimes against his heart.

"Ok, fine then," he said tersely with his annoyance and exasperation at their height, "you don't want to talk. Ok. Then I'm going to bed!" He made a slicing motion of finality with his hand and turning tensely, stormed off to his room.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Hey, don't walk away. Rick, wait a minute," Kate said louder and firmly while quickly stepping, catching up to him, and grabbing him by the elbow in an earnest attempt to stop him. Her features were tense with determination and a flash of anger briefly lit her eyes while she pursed her lips and then slightly bit them momentarily in frustrated control.

She was annoyed at him for his heated exit because she perceived his retreat as him giving up on her and them. Facing his exasperation and misguided irritation made her unhappy and she wanted to resort to her old familiar coping tactics when faced with that kind of behavior and verbally fight, striking out to defend herself against it. Her mind said fight, but her heart said not to. Her mind said let him go to bed angry, but her heart said make peace.

Within her own war between mind and heart she knew one thing–she wasn't giving up on her, him, or their relationship and she fervently yearned he would see her hope in them through her actions and words and not lose his own faith and optimism.

Though she really wanted to give in to her typical defensive impulse of firing some hurtful, sarcastic, or angry retort back at him, which had been her response to slamming into his brick wall of anger in the past, she didn't–not this time.

_No, no angry remark this time_. _Keep in under control, Kate. You learned the hard way last time that arguing doesn't solve anything, _she thought as she lightly chewed her bottom lip to control herself from saying something that she'd regret or something that would hurt him and irrevocably damage their relationship_. _

This was a critical juncture. She knew if she said or did the wrong thing that there was the very real possibility that their relationship and any hope of love and romance, would be utterly destroyed and shredded beyond repair. This wasn't a time for anger or laying blame for their problems at the feet of the other. This was the time to stop, turn around, and face each other with honesty and truth.

Rick did stop with the pressure of her hand around his elbow, but he didn't turn around and look at her.

"Look at me," she strongly and compellingly pleaded. "Hey, look at me," she then enunciated softly and persuasively, urging again while peering into his eyes and at the look on his face.

He turned slowly and cold, steel blue orbs laced with hurt and frustration met soft, compassionate, green pools.

"Calm down a minute and let me talk, ok," she continued in her now lowered, calming voice as she slid her hand down from his elbow to his larger hand and held it in hers. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean I wasn't going to tell you about the dream. I was trying to explain in a way that I could, but I started with the wrong words, because I'm afraid to say what I feel. Please…don't be angry and frustrated. Give me a chance."

_He was right about me during that last argument_, she thought. _Now isn't the time for another fight. It's time to fix things and clear the air_.

"Ok," he said in a softened voice as his scowl relaxed a bit at her words and his eyes searched hers.

_Finally, we're getting somewhere_, he thought.

"This miscommunication between us needs to stop, don't you think?" she continued. He nodded in agreement. "I'm sorry I frustrated you all this time because I play things close to the vest."

"I know you do. You hold back feelings to protect yourself from getting hurt. I know you so well, Kate, and I understand your reasons. I'm not blaming you. I've done it too," he confessed, shouldering the blame and responsibility of their misunderstandings more so on himself instead of her. "I think us holding back is why we have trouble talking sometimes. Look, I'm sorry too. Sorry I assumed too much and didn't let you explain when you were trying," he apologized.

"That's ok. What you said is true and I've been thinking the same things. I've been frustrated too because every time I wanted to have a serious talk with you we got interrupted. We both want some honesty between us." Kate pulled Rick over to the couch and they sat down.

"Then will it bother you to talk about the nightmare? I really want to know what happened, Kate. You had me so worried. You were kicking and thrashing around, crying so hard. And, the way you painfully were wailing my name over and over…," he took a steadying breath, "I couldn't handle hearing that from you ever again." He looked at her with concern etched in his eyes and he swallowed hard with the memory of her desperate and terrified moans echoing in his ears. "So…?"

"I want to tell you about it, but at the same time I don't." She drew in a long breath with her chin and lips quavering at the idea of having to relive those horrible visions just to tell him. "You should know, but I just don't want to see those images anymore," Kate sighed, shaking her head like she was trying to dispel the horrible pictures of the nightmare from her mind. She paused, putting her thumb and middle finger to her eyes in an attempt to relieve the discomforting pressure and grittiness from crying as well as staving off tears that once again threatened to fall.

"It's ok," Castle slid a comforting arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, sensing her desire to talk, but understanding her trepidation. "If you can't talk about it, that's ok. I get it. It's ok, Kate."

"No, you should know," she said softly, stifling a sniffle, and then heaved a breath for courage and slowly let it out while putting her hand on her forehead and then running her fingers down through her tousled hair. "Here we were just saying how we need to talk more and not keep thoughts to ourselves. So no, I should tell you."

She moved slightly away from his shoulder and turning more towards him, looked him square in the eyes. He saw her desire to be truthful about her feelings, but he also saw a small flicker of fear with a soft pleading to help her start sharing.

"You said something about Tyson…dragons," he said gently squeezing her arm in encouragement. "It didn't make much sense."

"No, it didn't. Tyson was there and he turned into this dragon thing. I shot at him and he took off, then just disappeared looking like some creature. There were these boxes all over with printed dragons on them. I was running around this burning warehouse looking for you. Then when I found you…" she paused, swallowed hard, and inhaled a wobbly breath as the terrible images of the nightmare crashed back into her mind's eye.

The horrible visions flashed through her mind replayed at a faster speed and forced tears to spring into her eyes and then spill over even though she fought to stop them. "He'd strangled you…cut you…," her voice cracked with misery, her brows furrowed while heaving a shuddering breath and tears ran down her face. "Rick…he killed you…you were dead…there was blood was everywhere." More tears ran faster down her face and Castle clutched her closer to him in comfort. She drew back to look at him and continued.

"I was too late—too late to save you…too late to tell you the truth," she cried harder and leaned into Castle's chest as he pulled her back closer into the circle of his warm embrace.

"You're not too late, Kate," he said softly and tantalizingly with a gentle and sparkling smile that made his eyes dance. She looked up at him understanding the extra meaning he loaded onto his words and was then lost momentarily in the blue fullness of his eyes. His eyes were deeply laden with all the love that swelled in his heart for her and she saw the light of that love radiating directly at her. She was so captivated with the expression in his eyes that she stopped crying with a few straggling tears trickling down her cheeks.

_He wants me to keep talking,_ she thought as she felt his silent encouragement through the caring gaze in his eyes. _He wants me say what I feel. Ok, I can do this. Just tell him the truth._

"That nightmare taught me the truth…about me and us. I can't hide from my fears. I have to face them and be honest with me and you," she said definitively, looking him in the eyes.

"All this time, I've been afraid of losing people I care about and in my fear I end up pushing them away. I don't want to lose you Rick and that's what I've been afraid of most. _Everything_ we've done together matters to me. You said I hid in relationships with men I didn't love. You were right. They were an excuse to hide from the truth–the truth that I care about you more than you know. I was afraid to feel anything for you because I thought the minute I did that I'd lose you. So I pushed those feelings away thinking I was protecting myself by pretending they didn't exist, but I only ended up lying to me and you."

Rick stared at Kate realizing she'd just taken a very big step.

Kate rose slowly from the couch and took a few steps away suddenly feeling like she needed a bit of distance from him in order to continue her blatantly personal confession. Sitting that close next to him with his arm still draped around her shoulders and spilling the truth of her heart seemed so intimate and she needed a brief reprieve to momentarily have her own personal space and bolster her courage to keep talking.

"I've been so wrong," she continued. "All my running away and hiding from a lot of things, but especially you," she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She harrumphed in a self-depreciating and chiding way while shaking her head. "I've been so damn stupid," she confessed, skewing her lips in a pursed way and looking up in derision. "I'm sorry. All I've done is hurt you all this time."

She glanced down with a sad look on her face. "Sometimes I wonder why you bother with me at all. I'm damaged goods," she said in a tense, quavering voice as she turned away, her eyes grew wet, and her hand slipped from her hair.

Castle got up from the couch and walked up behind her, lightly resting his hands around her shoulders.

"Look at me," he soothed.

She didn't move. Slowly, he turned her around to face him, but she kept her eyes down, avoiding his gaze.

"You're not damaged goods, Kate," he declared in a low and firm voice as he ducked his head to look her in the face. Putting a finger under her chin and raising her head up, he made her look him in the eyes. "I 'bother with you' because you're important to me," his voice was slightly louder. "Next to mom and Alexis you are the most important woman in my life, honey," he said in firm conviction.

Her unshed tears then slowly ran down her face and her eyes searched his. There, in the soft, blue depths of his gaze was the true nature of his being–his strength and fortitude that she'd come to know, respect, and love.

Suddenly, she felt a rush of courage and a renewed determination to continue saying what her heart demanded her to confess.

"Rick, you're my light, heat, and warmth," Kate said with a small smile, giving in to her desire to tell him everything in her heart. "When Mom was killed, you were there in my head all those years with your words and stories. You've always given me strength, hope, and the courage to go on. For that I can never thank you enough," her voice quavered in emotion. "Now you're with me every day and you give me all that and more. You're my best friend and partner, and I want you as my lover…in every way." Her face erupted into a golden and radiant smile and she cupped his face in her palms.

"I love you, Rick."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Surprise flashed in his eyes as they widened in astonishment. Blinking in disbelief, his jaw slackened and his lips parted in amazement. He was speechless.

_Did she just say what I thought she did?_ He asked himself.

She saw his look of surprise and amazement. "Rick? Say something," she urged, standing in front of him cupping his face in her hands and looking into astounded and now happy blue eyes. She knew he hadn't expected that revelation. "I…love…you," she proclaimed again.

"You do?" he asked, his breath trembling in excitement as he gazed down at her. She nodded her head as a smile spread across her lips and a rosy flush crept up her cheeks.

"Yeah!" he breathed in exuberance and relief as he wrapped his strong arms around her waist and snagged her closer to him in a tight, lingering hug. "Oh Kate, just when I think I've figured you out, you write in a twist I don't see coming. You never cease to amaze me."

Pulling back from the hug and gently caressing the side of her face with his big hand, he smoothed several locks of her hair down and behind her shoulder letting his hand linger on her arm. Their eyes locked and held in a tender, sparkling, and sensual dance. She marveled in the caring and tenderness she saw flickering through the softness of his eyes.

Her heart pounded and fluttered as she felt the sparks of desire flaring between them like the flames of a dancing fire and her belly flittered like it was full of hovering butterflies.

"Oh Kate," he whispered.

"No more hiding and running," Kate confessed shaking her head. "I know you've made your stand with me and now I'm making mine with you." Her face lit again with a beautiful, radiant smile and her eyes burned with the fire of love.

He smiled back at her and gazed into her eyes. "So now what," he asked in a husky voice.

"Hmm, I don't know. _You're_ the writer," she teased, her smile growing playful as she cocked a brow and pursed her lips in amusement.

"I'm _your_ writer," he said amending the meaning of her words, but then paused a moment as he briefly lost his emotional equilibrium in the soulful depths of her eyes. "Do you remember what I said when you were shot?" he asked in a more serious tone.

Kate looked back at him with a look of remembrance on her face. "I do," she nodded as her eyes grew moist from the memory.

"I meant it with all my heart. I love you Kate. I have from the very beginning."

"You know, I hated that first day we met and thought it was one of my worst, but turns out it was one of my best. Even the day I was shot," she stammered, "was ironically, one of the best and worst days of my life. All because of what you said…you saved me."

She slipped her arms up around his neck and hugged him tightly and then letting her hands trail up and tangle in his hair she clutched his head and shoulders. After a minute, he pulled back to look at her and she let her arms slide more down his shoulders and rest with her wrists touching behind his neck.

"Would you like a replay of a certain kiss?" he whispered with a sexy gleam in his eyes.

She drew herself even closer to him by slowly and provocatively sliding her arms further again up his shoulders and draping them behind his neck. Her eyes grew sultry and darkened as a sensual and ornery flash of desire raced through their depths and a small, sly smile wove its way across her lips.

"Yeah…" she drew out in a smooth, husky whisper that sounded like warmed honey. Leaving her full and rosy lips parted in invitation she darted her look from his eyes down to his lips and then back up to his eyes. He needed no more tantalizing clues.

Slowly moving his head forward he narrowed the gap between their faces. Kate's breathing quickened in anticipation of finally feeling his lips again on hers and she felt shaky with the delighted expectation. She felt his chest rise and fall faster in excitement as he pulled her body tighter to his by wrapping his arms around her waist and enveloping her completely in the warm circle of his embrace.

Kate felt the masculine planes of his body molding into her soft, voluptuous curves and sighed in satisfied pleasure. Feeling her gently tangling her fingers more in the thickness of his hair he sighed and languidly closed his eyes in contentment. Sighing as he reveled in her sensual touches, he opened his eyes after a moment as he was compelled by his desire to see the woman he loved returning his affection.

Passion danced in their eyes as their looks held each other in a sensual embrace. Sliding one arm up and across her shoulders, he pulled her in closer, pressing her breasts against his chest while his other arm moved down to the small of her back and then he slid his hand down on her rear pushing her hips into his. She felt the strong muscles of his chest against her breasts, the firmness of his stomach on hers, and his growing arousal low against her belly. Rick's face blurred in her vision as he finally and completely lowered his head to her face. Her eyes closed and she felt his light and quickened puffs of breath on her lips. She sighed and he felt it on his opened mouth.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Rick softly, tenderly, and sweetly slid his lips over Kate's in a slow, lingering kiss that whispered of the deep and rich fullness of his lengthy and unrelenting desire and love. They both moaned a small sigh of satisfaction at the prolonged intimate contact. He made a quick release of her mouth and then swiftly recaptured the fullness of her upper lip in another loving and velvety caress.

She pulled her lips away from his just a fraction and then easily nibbled across his mouth marveling in his soft feel and sweet taste as he then enthusiastically returned her oral affection. He seemingly couldn't get enough of her taste and the pleasant pressure of her lips on his and he continued drinking eagerly from them as if he was a hungry butterfly and her lips provided the sweet nectar of a delicate flower that he needed to survive.

He pulled away, drawing in a soft breath, and then returned his lips to hers with a gentle touch of his tongue. An erotic current jolted through her body and she tingled all over like she'd been zapped with a spark of electricity when his tongue met her lips. Responding ardently, she hungrily kissed him back, pressing her lips and tongue harder on his. He increased the pressure of his mouth on hers crushing her lips more passionately as he opened his mouth more and deepened their contact.

She fervently returned the depth of his caress, running her hands up into the back of his hair and pulling his head more to hers. Their passion flared like a match set aflame as their mouths continued their intimate, intricate dance. His arms were around her waist and across her shoulders pushing her as close to him as he could make her. Excited soft sighs and moans escaped their lips and hovered around them like a light breeze.

Moving backwards toward the couch, he pulled her with him and their lips never left each other. She moaned softly against his mouth. Clutching her body to his, he drew her ever closer with one arm angled up her back and the other sliding down so his hand rested on her hip. He groaned in pleasure against her lips and tongue and his breathing grew deeper and faster.

She felt his heart racing and the quickened heaving of his chest against her breasts. Feeling like his kisses were setting her on fire, she swore she would self-combust. He felt like lightning was zipping through his body electrifying every pore. The flames of their passion grew. Back and forth they continued their giving and taking of kisses with her control and his surrender and then his control and her surrender. The kisses were gentle, soft and then raged harder and more passionate.

The cushions of the couch hit the backs of his legs and he sat down on the edge of the cushion, trying to pull Kate with him. Their lips parted and their eyes captured each other in a clench of flaming passion. They both felt the heat of desire and the room suddenly seemed hotter.

In fact, the whole world seemed hotter as outside the sounds of the storm over the city intensified. The thunder was louder and bolts of lightning ricocheted through the clouds. The rain fell harder and faster. It seemed as if nature sensed their passion and responded in agreement.

Kate stood half bent over Rick with a sultry and seductive look on her face. She moved purposefully in sensual intention as she kept her eyes fixed on his with her rosy lips parted in sexual invitation. Bending her right leg and putting it on the couch next to his left and then bracing her hands on his strong shoulders she brought the other up next to his right. Balancing herself over his lap, she tossed her hair with a seductive shake of her head as she slid her knees to the back of the couch cushions and sat down straddling his lap.

She felt the growing hardness and lengthening of his arousal in his jeans nestling against her most intimate place and took in a surprised breath at feeling his large size. His hardness settled easily and naturally against her warm and private womanly curves like their bodies were made specifically for each other. They were two pieces of a puzzle fitting perfectly together.

They momentarily looked at each other smiling at the position they were in. Her hands were on his shoulders and his were on her hips. He slowly and deliberately drew his arms up her back bringing her more to him. They kissed again and again, passionately and hungrily tasting each other's mouths.

Breathless and aroused, she momentarily drew back from his lips and she caught her breath at the feel of him under her. Her lips throbbed from his sweet onslaught of kisses and her breasts felt full and tingled as her nipples grew firm. A dampness of arousal grew between her thighs.

"Kate," he breathed, staring into her eyes.

Desire raced through his eyes like blue flames and he saw the sparkle in hers. They now, like the weather, had started their own storm and it raged ever stronger and more passionately. The heat of desire inflamed them and they trembled like the air during a clap of thunder. Pressurized currents of pent-up erotic energy, long and agonizingly repressed, suddenly exploded and zipped through and between them like the flashes of lightning streaking through the clouds. Their breathing grew stronger like the wind picking up and blowing harder. Their anticipation of experiencing and pleasuring each other with more loving intimacies grew.

Outside the storm was directly overhead. Thunder crashed and vibrated the air and building. Lightning zinged through the clouds as if it was a ball in a celestial, electric pinball machine. The wind whistled and howled. The rain fell faster and more heavily.

Her arms were draped around his neck and his hands had settled further down on her hips. Rubbing his thumbs low on her belly in light up and down strokes their breaths came in tremulous and heavy sighs. He raised a hand and drew a lock of her hair behind her ears enjoying its silky feel as it slid through his fingers. He let his fingers slide all the way down the lock of hair until they hit her shoulder and then he ran his hand behind her shoulder and down her back.

Wrapping her more in his arms he pulled her body even closer to him and they shuddered. Rick felt the heat of her body through her blouse, the fullness of her breasts, and the tightness of her nipples against his chest. His arousal grew harder, bigger, and he felt hot.

Kate took his face tenderly in her hands and drew it to hers as she laid a gentle but passionate kiss on his lips. Drawing his lips from hers he planted light kisses across her face to her ear. The faint scent of cherries lingered on her skin and he was aware of the fruity floral scent as he took a breath.

She felt his soft, erratic breaths on her ear and then her neck. The faint musky and spicy scent of his aftershave tantalized her nose as his face was near her neck.

She moved her head to the side and he lightly nipped and kissed down the side of her throat.

"Oh, Rick…" she softly sighed and smiled as he continued pressing gentle, sweet, open mouthed kisses down her neck and across her throat, lingering slightly with each one as he lightly licked her delicate skin.

"You taste good," he whispered. She sighed and let her head fall back.

"That feels good," she murmured a breathy moan as she languidly turned her head to the other side to give him more access. Working his way up the other side of her throat he continued his sensual onslaught of caresses.

Kate moaned a little louder and her eyes closed in ecstasy. Her breathing was more audible and she felt tremulous in excitement.

"You feel good, too," she sighed, grinding her hips down more on his.

"So do you," he whispered in a strangled groan as he trailed kisses back down her neck kissing lower and lower. She whimpered in delight.

Slowly, he drew his hands down her back and then slipping his hands under her blouse tenderly rubbed up and down feeling the softness of her skin and the slim fitness of her body. He was driving her wild.

"More," she urged, letting him take control over what they were doing as another louder clap of thunder rumbled the building and a brighter flash of lightening blazed through the curtains.

Kate drew her hands down from his shoulders to the bottom of his shirt. Tugging the shirt out of his pants, she pushed it up his stomach. He broke the kissing they'd rekindled and lifted his arms above his head as he let her tug it off. She lazily dropped the shirt down on the floor next to the couch and then rested her hands on his bare shoulders. She looked at him, scanning his broad naked shoulders, chest, and muscular stomach, and took in an appreciative breath.

"Wow," she exhaled, her gaze lingering up and down taking in his masculine glory.

She rubbed his shoulders and down his arms and then back to his neck feeling the warmth and softness of his skin. He sighed over her caresses and the desire burning in her eyes that seemed to be some magical green flame. She delighted in the way his muscles quavered under her soft sensual exploration and they resumed another zealous round of kisses. All the while, her hands were tenderly kneading his chest and slid lower to rub his stomach.

His stomach muscles clenched in pleasure and putting his hands back under her blouse he rubbed her back more avidly. Their need flared more, growing feverish, beginning a tight winding like a spring being wound. The storm between them grew more and more passionate. The storm outside raged. The thunder clapped louder, the wind came up more, and the rain pelted the windows as if it were trying to get inside.

Pulling back from the kiss, he looked into her desire ridden eyes and then down at her breasts as they heaved in her blouse with her quickened breaths. Pulling his arms from around her he undid the buttons on her blouse one by one by one until they were all undone and he caught a glimpse of the treasures she hid beneath the fabric.

Sucking in an excited breath knowing exactly what he intended her nipples rose and grew tighter, and she felt her lower feminine core begin to melt.

Taking her blouse by the edges of the collar, he deliberately pulled open the front of her top and draped it back over her shoulders, leaving it hanging down loosely. Slowly drawing his gaze up and down her exposed body, he stared down at her feminine curves in rapturous wonder.

"Wow," he breathed unable to tear his eyes away. He watched the swell of her breasts rising and falling in the confines of her bra and saw that the skin on her chest was flushed in arousal and excitement. His body reacted with his arousal growing harder. She watched his reaction and knew by the spark of increased desire in his eyes that he clearly enjoyed what he was finally able to see for real and not just imagine.

_She's beautiful_, he thought, looking at her face.

Her eyes looked drugged on their passion and her lips were red and swollen from the sweet and sensual attack of kisses. She sighed and smiled, loving the way he was looking at her. The snap of desire in his eyes made her feel sexy, beautiful, and wild.

He pulled his gaze from her radiant face and looked back down at her heaving breasts seeing the round and dull brown scar of her gunshot wound peeking up from under her bra. Reaching out he delicately rubbed it with the tips of his fingers. She looked down at her chest, watching what he was doing and didn't believe what she saw. She thought the scar an ugly reminder of the tragedy that nearly took her life, but knew from the gentle and understanding way he was touching it he didn't think so.

_He must find it lovely_, she thought. _A marvelous sign I'm alive and that he didn't lose me_.

Suddenly, it didn't seem so ugly to her anymore. Glancing up he saw her look like she was thinking about what he was doing.

"It doesn't bother me, Kate," he whispered, echoing her thought. "It's a sign you're with me." She lightly smiled and he sweetly kissed her lips.

He wrapped his arms back around her waist and she linked her arms around his neck. She rose up on her knees, purposely and seductively adjusting her position, to arch her back and sexily roll her shoulders so he had a nice view of her cleavage. She sat back down on his lap and straddling him more fully, sighed as she felt the hardness of his arousal pressed now even more intimately between her upper thighs. Her sensual look and moves seemed to be an erotic challenge, which he accepted and dove into with wild abandon.

He captured her open and waiting lips in a passionate kiss. She responded opening her mouth to his as their tongues danced. Their breathing quickened and their yearning heightened as they traded kisses back and forth. He groaned and she sighed while pulling his head closer. He broke free of her lips and lightly kissed her cheeks, her nose, and her lowered eye lids.

"Ah," she gasped. He kissed down the side of her face, going down her neck with lingering, open-mouthed kisses. Kate sighed in pleasure loving the feel of his lips and tongue on her neck and the curves of her breasts. Rick kissed up to her shoulder and while he lavished soft sweet caresses across it he slipped a finger under one strap of her bra and slowly slid it down and let it fall.

"Rick," she breathed, slightly arching into his face. He smothered her chest with caress after caress and her breath came in pleasurable panting and moans. She loved what he was doing and how he was making her feel. Her nipples grew harder, her breasts felt fuller and her most intimate feminine place grew warmer and moister. He felt so good there and she couldn't help but push herself more down on him.

He groaned in delight against the swells of her cleavage as she ground down more on him. His moans only served to arouse her all the more. She knew what effect she was having on him. Feeling so good there covering him, he instinctively thrust up against her.

"Ah…" Kate sighed louder.

Continuing his kisses across her chest and to her other shoulder he slid down the other strap of her bra and lavished wet touches up her neck. Panting pleasurable breaths, she tilted her head back. Her mind swirled with desire and she had no coherent thought. Only the glorious experience of what he was doing to her body. He was worshipping her, it seemed, in his own form of personal, intimate devotion as he kissed back up the side of her face and resumed his erotic assault on her lips.

She kissed him back, rubbing her hands on his shoulders and chest and down his stomach.

He moaned against her lips as the soft passionate caresses of her hands aroused him all the more. Abandoning her hips, he slid his hands upward on her back. He continued touching, rubbing around to the front of her body and slowly slid his fingers inside the cup of her bra, tenderly caressing her breast in his big hand.

"Ah," she gasped in surprise as pleasure bolted through her like lightning. He pushed down the cup of her bra with his fingers, freeing and exposing her to his touches. Carefully, he teased her nipple with his fingers making it grow harder and bigger.

Her breathing became more erratic, gasping, and panting as she gave in to her arousal. She felt her body swelling intimately as he thrust his hips up against hers again.

"Rick," her breathy sounds continued to arouse him as he continued his sensual touches.

With his other hand, he gently rubbed and freed her other breast from its lacy confinement. She was fully exposed with the straps of her bra shoved down to her elbows and imprisoning her arms to her sides inside her blouse. His hands continued their gentle wicked mission, rubbing, massaging, and teasing. She panted harder and louder with each touch and instinctively ground her hips down more onto his, slowly rocking back and forth as her hands clung to his shoulders.

Stopping his sensual onslaught, he gazed down at the beauty of her exposed cleavage. Her head had tilted back in pleasure and her eyes were closed. Her skin was flushed pink in beautiful arousal and her sighs and moans sent his senses soaring. Desire snapped in his eyes as he lovingly gazed at her heaving breasts. Her hair had cascaded down her back and she clung to him. He forced his hips up to hers, deepening their intimate contact, even though thin bits of fabric separated their skin.

She responded more, rocking faster back and forth on his hardness. Their movement was driving them both wild and their need increased. She sucked in a surprised gasp and let it out in a loud moan of excitement as she felt the wetness of his lips and tongue replacing his hands on her breasts. Rick kissed and nipped lightly and she trembled as his lips closed around a hardened nipple. Not being able to stop himself he lavished the other breast with the same loving treatment.

"Ah…Rick…" she cooed louder.

They continued their erotic moving. Kate's quickened breathing was getting harder, louder, higher pitched, and her eyes were still closed in ecstasy as he continued stoking the flames of their love higher and higher with each kiss and thrust of his hips.

Suddenly, her body shuddered in violent trembles and her breath came in a deep panted moan as her body exploded in a strong, powerful climax–a hard throbbing release.

Kate cried out in rapturous ecstasy as her body throbbed hard and fast and she tightly clung to Rick with her arms around his shoulders as her fingers dug into his taught muscles. The surprise of her release happening and continuing made her moan more and louder.

"Rick!" Her loud moan was deeply laced with excitement and wanting.

Rick recognized her tell-tale breathing and kept rocking against her. He knew what he'd just done to her and wanted it to continue. Her breaths were still ragged, shuddering gasps as her feminine core continued throbbing from his movements. Hearing her that way intensified his desire, need, and longing, and instantly his body reacted in contractions as her climax continued.

The tremors of his release started. He crushed her aroused body to his, pushing her hips down tighter onto his, rocking her hips faster against him while his hands gripped her hips. His body quickly and strongly exploded in the confines of his jeans. He groaned deeply, continuing to hold her close as his body shuddered with hers.

"Ahhh," she cried out louder and more forcefully, as a second, powerful release raced through her already aroused body.

"Kate," he stammered out a groan.

They both were breathing hard and fast, loud and deep, their bodies throbbing. Their attraction and love was natural like two celestial bodies, unmistakably, irrefutably, and irrevocably drawn to each other by stronger, outside forces beyond their control. Neither could resist the pull of the other nor did they want to.

At the climax of their passion it seemed nature heard and agreed with the elemental-like nature of their release. Lightning flashed brightly through the curtains and thunder boomed directly overhead and vibrated around the loft. The wind bellowed and whined at the windows like an animal howling and clawing to get inside. As they sank onto each other with the energy of their climaxes spiraling down, nature unleashed her own release as the rain sheeted down in torrents making a deluge against the windows.

They kept holding each other. His arms cradled her back and pressed her to his chest while her arms were tightly wound around his shoulders with one hand up in his hair. For a few moments they sat together, both trembling. She felt heady and he felt intoxicated. Slowly and steadily their breathing began to calm and they took deeper, slower, and more steady breaths until they both sighed in satisfaction, fulfillment, and completion. He took in a breath and let it out and she breathed a moan in his ear.

"You…jusss….just had an…," he began.

"Orgasm. Uh huh," she whispered, swallowing as she caught her breath. "Did you?"

"Yeah," he lightly cleared his throat.

She pulled back and their eyes locked. Blue twinkles and sparkle met green flames and shimmers and they smiled at each other in surprise. Neither one of them had expected that. She could feel a growing dampness between her thighs that wasn't her own and she looked down between them. She saw a spreading wetness on his lap seeping through the light colored denim of his jeans.

"Mmmm, yeah, you did," she whispered in a voice like melted gold. "I can feel it. That was incredible…wild."

It excited her seeing what she'd done to him and how he'd reacted to their desire.

Looking into her eyes, he saw the lingering sparkle from her ecstasy, pleasure and satisfaction. To her, the gentle and tender way he was looking at her, though it was laced with passion, said she had no worries. He'd love her, be the love she needed, wanted, and desired. He was her fantasy come true.

"Wild doesn't cut it, honey. We were beautiful. I wish you could see yourself right now," he smiled, "because you look amazing. You're breathy, glowing with your eyes all fiery, your cheeks flushed, your hair all tussled, and your lips red and swollen."

She smiled almost shyly at his description of her.

"Then there's that smile that makes my heart flip flop. You have no idea how many times at the precinct when you were frowning about a case I wanted to grab and kiss the daylights out of you just to make you smile."

"Then why didn't you?" she asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Because we would have gotten carried away in our enthusiasm and…"

"…embarrassed ourselves as I threw your fine ass across my desk and had my wicked way with you," she interrupted, finishing his thought with a giggle.

"Yeah, that's exactly why. Plus, I prevented Ryan and Esposito from having to arrest us for indecent exposure."

"True," she agreed as they laughed.

"So, I assume, after what we just did that one of these nights after work we'll go for dinner, or a show, or a movie?"

"Are you asking me for a date?" she questioned with a smile in a throaty breath.

"You bet I am," he whispered huskily. "What do you say to that?"

She smiled. "I'd say it's about time you asked me out and I'd love to."

He sighed hugging her. "I'm sorry you had that nightmare," he whispered sympathetically in her ear and then pulled slightly away from her with a more solemn look on his face.

"I'm not," she replied. "It's because of it that we fixed us."

"Yeah, we have," he agreed. They both paused then, stopping and looking around perplexed as they suddenly realized the sounds in the loft had changed. It had quieted somewhat.

"You hear that?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, smiling big with the corners of her eyes crinkling in happiness and amusement. "The storm has calmed. It's finally just raining," she sighed in relief, her voice laden with many meanings that, he showed her in his eyes, he understood as their looks locked and held.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"I need to move, honey," he said after a bit while still staring longingly into her eyes.

"Me too. I think my legs are half asleep."

Still holding her close, he stood up gradually while she slowly slid her legs down off the cushions and placed her feet on the floor. Knowing she'd be off balance, wobbly, and have a hard time standing, he steadied her with his arms, holding her as she stood so the blood could return to normal circulation in her legs.

"Ah," she breathed as she sagged a bit against him and clutched onto his arms for balance as prickly and tingly waves of sensation walked up her legs. Her legs felt like quavering jelly from their intimate releases and the entire effect of what they'd experienced together not just because they'd been sitting in that erotic position for a while.

He chuckled. "Well, you left me nearly speechless and I've left you unable to walk. That's a nice trade off."

She giggled, holding on to him as he continued rising from the couch on unsteady legs.

"I'm not the only one with a walking problem, sweetie," she whispered sexily into his ear with a seductive smile playing on her lips.

"Guess we should clean up," he suggested, feeling the large wetness in his jeans and looking down at the damp spot low on the front of his belly. Her eyes followed his gaze down and lingered there enjoying the physical evidence of their sexual playing. Knowing she had done that to him made her happy and excited.

_This is a heady feeling knowing I have that kind of power over him_, she thought devilishly.

He looked up at her and saw the wry, ornery smile on her face as she was staring at the front of his pants.

"What?" he asked, deciding whether or not he should be embarrassed, but then wasn't because of her smile.

"Just like what I see is all," she confessed, returning her gaze to his face and looking him dead in the eyes. "Don't tell me you're embarrassed," she teased, "because I'm not. If it's any consolation, I'm so wet that my panties are soaked." She gave him one of her wide-eyed seductive stares while playfully biting her lip.

He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it because nothing would come out. Her blatant description of the post climactic condition of her intimate petals and folds sent his wild imagination into high gear as he envisioned her nude body and how she would look and smell after actually making love. Blinking, swallowing, and softly clearing his throat to reign in his run away images of fantasy, he tried again.

"Showers," he said.

"Then bed," she suggested. He looked at her, his face a question. "Tonight was intimate. I guess what I'm saying…is…that I don't want to sleep in the guest room now. Will you sleep with me, Rick?"

Rick's face lit up in astonishment. His breath caught in his throat and he half coughed. He hadn't expected that question.

"Uh…I meant, um…" she began, seeing the surprise on his face and then feeling the need to explain herself.

"Shhh," he gently placed his fingers to her lips to stop her talking while his astonishment at her suggestive question turned to a soft smile. His eyes, though loaded with desire, were full of understanding and tenderness. "I know what you meant," he answered huskily. "You meant literally sleeping not figuratively sleeping with you." She gazed at him as a shy, embarrassed blush colored her cheeks. "You want me next to you, holding you in my arms while you sleep all night. Snuggling after making love," he said with a grin.

"Yeah, and I like the way you said that," she whispered, dimpling a smile at his playful, sexy teasing.

"Well, that's what we did."

"I know and it was beautiful."

"Actually," he continued, "I was going to suggest snuggling because it's what I want too." They held each other's eyes in a tender embrace, their longing desire, hope, and love evident.

"Funny how we think the same thing at the same time…it's magic," she conceded.

"Or my Jedi mind trick," he smirked.

"Pssp, wrong Skywalker. My Vulcan mind meld," she shot his smirk back at him. They chuckled. "So, then after I'm clean do you have something I can sleep in other than these big strong arms?" she asked running her hands over his shoulders and down his arms.

"Yeah, come on." They kept holding hands, steadying each other as they walked into his bedroom.

Her eyes scanned the room noting the king sized bed and masculine décor. The soft neutral tones with light green and gold and silver accents united pleasantly with the wooden furniture.

"Do you like it," Rick asked seeing how her eyes roamed the room taking in what was there.

"Of course I do. It's you and just how I imagined."

Rick raised an eyebrow and gave her quirky, lopsided smile. "I see someone's been having naughty fantasies. Ravishing me on your desk at work and imagining my bedroom. Hmm…"

Kate flushed over him knowing she had sensual daydreams about him and suddenly felt shy, even after the intimacy they'd shared, as she met the sparkle in his eyes.

"I couldn't stop myself," she confessed, sighing. "Focus, Rick. You were getting me something to sleep in?"

"Uh…right, oh, right," he said releasing her hand and walking over to the dresser. He pulled open the top drawer. "Ok, nothing in here you'd look good in." He closed the top drawer and opened the second drawer. "Ah, here we go, perfect, ravishing." He teased as he pulled out one of his old, faded, light green T-shirts that didn't fit him anymore and that had been washed so many times the fabric was thin, along with a pair of white designer boxers that snapped down the front. "Here, these should fit ok," he winked at her while handing her the garments.

Her heart tumbled and beat wildly in heated desire seeing him wink at her and her blood raced around her body as if it was a dashing thoroughbred setting a track record. For some reason, and she knew it was because he lit her heart, body, and soul on fire in every way imaginable, that sensual and playful wink set her senses on edge. Her breath caught involuntarily in her throat, her lips parted slightly, and she stared at him for a moment.

Rick again realized the physical effect he had on her from the way her breath caught when he winked at her. He smiled at her lingering gaze.

Looking down at the clothes in her hands and licking her lips she said, "This shirt's a bit thin. Will I be warm enough?"

"Yeah, I'll keep you warm." _Wonder if she figured out I have ulterior motives with that shirt_, he thought.

"Really? I think you just want to look at my boobs," Kate answered matter-of-factly with raised brows and lips pursed in a knowing smile, as if she heard his unspoken question.

"Yeah," his breath whooshed out in conviction. "I'm so busted."

Kate smiled and laughed quietly. "Yeah, you are," she took a step to him, giving him her playful, sexy look as her voice grew provocative and honey smooth. "You're lucky my cuffs are in the other room," she continued with a slight nod toward the sitting area.

Rick's brows went up and his lips parted a bit in amusement and slight surprise.

"You mean you'd… ah… you have a pair like that?" he choked as interesting erotic images raced through his head. She slowly moved closer to him just short of touching his body with hers.

"No," she kept on in her low purring and teasing, her eyes twinkling in ornery suggestion as she met his eyes, dropped them to his lips and looked back up to his eyes holding them spellbound, "but we both know where we can find a pair."

He sucked in a tremulous breath. Her lips were close to his and he nearly kissed her, but at the last second, she pulled away taking half a step backward.

He exhaled a breath he'd been holding. "You're wicked woman."

"Oh Rick," she smiled, giggling, lightly putting her hand on his chest, "you're so easy."

"Because I surrender so easily to your enchantress-like bewitching and enticingly naughty sense of humor?"

"That's right, honey," she giggled a little louder.

"Keep playing with fire, Kate and…"

"I'll just get really hot," she interrupted him in a mellow and sexy voice, grinning provocatively with a cocked brow.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"You are shameless. Go take a shower," he laughed.

"If you insist," she chuckled, smiling at him as her teasing look melted into a happy softness.

"You know my place is your place," he said softly.

She continued smiling, looked down, and then back up as she felt the knuckles of his left hand tenderly stroking the right side of her face.

"Now there's a sight I don't see enough," he said cupping her face in his big hand. She held his look and maintained her easy smile. "Your beautiful smile. I just want you to be happy, Kate."

Reaching up with her right hand and putting it over his, she held his hand to her face.

"I am. You're the reason for that, Rick." Her features were relaxed and easy and her voice was low and soft, warm and radiant like the rays of the sun, surrounding and enveloping them. Her eyes were liquid and she blinked in emotion as she leaned her face more into his hand. Turning her head right, she pressed a lingering kiss to his palm. She lowered her hand.

"I'll take that shower now."

He bent his fingers on her face and then trailed them down and across her chin. "Ok."

Turning from him, she headed to the bath.

"Take as long as you want. Towels are in the cabinet," he mentioned. "I'll use the guest bath.

She walked into his bathroom, turned on the light, and then started closing the door as she watched him. She saw him open the top drawer of his dresser, take out a T-shirt and sleep shorts, and then walk jauntily out of the room.

He smiled, feeling giddy like a teenage boy, as he strutted out of the bedroom, through the sitting area, into the living room, and headed upstairs. He'd use the guest bath and let her have his. There was no denying what their relationship was now. No need to define it because they knew. They were a real couple and things would change for the better.

_This is right now_, he thought, walking into the guest bath and closing the door. _I'm finally happy again and things are back to the way they should be with us. She knows it too. And did I really make her climax like that and we were just kissing?! Booyah! If she sounds and looks like _that_ and we weren't even…I wasn't even inside her. What's she going to feel like_? "Oh boy, I'm in trouble," he murmured, shuddering in delighted and excited desire from the very idea of making love with her. "She wasn't kidding when she told me I had no idea. Ok, maybe this should be a cold shower. Nah, don't think so."

He stripped down, leaving his clothes on the floor of the bathroom, and turned on the shower. Grabbing a washcloth off the towel rack, he climbed in, and began to wash. Fifteen minutes later, after he was cleaned up and shaved, he'd dried off and changed into a clean, light green T-shirt and white boxers, and walked downstairs and back into the bedroom. Not finding Kate in the room, he figured she was still in the bathroom though he didn't hear the water of the shower running.

He switched off the main light switch for the room and flipped on another for the lamps on the night tables by the bed. Their soft light illuminated the bed and made a warm, rich, golden glow around the room. He walked over to the left lamp and turned it off and then walked around to the other side of the bed and pulled back the sheets and blankets. Grabbing a couple pillows, he placed them near the edge of the bed so Kate could share them.

Then climbing into the bed, he scooted over into the middle and pulled the covers over himself, but left part of them draped back for Kate. Taking the remaining pillows, he shoved them behind his back and leaned into them against the headboard. He put his hands behind his head and linking his fingers he looked up at the ceiling with a smile thinking how wonderfully this rotten day had ended.

_Who'd have thought this would happen with us tonight_, he thought with a contented sigh.

He glanced over at the window, and even though the curtain was drawn, he could tell the storm had lessened. No more thunder, no more lightning, just a light, steady, and nourishing rain that pinged against the windows and sent little rivulets of water running down the glass.

The universe–their universe–had righted itself and he felt a calm, confident peace weave its way like a soft melody through his heart and soul. Balance restored. Unity and harmony regained. Even nature seemed to agree with his assessment as the violence of the thunderstorm caused by the destabilization of the atmosphere had run its course and now stability and natural equality had returned. Just like it had with him and Kate.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

She closed the bathroom door after watching him get his things out of his dresser and set down the garments he'd given her on a small table made of dark wood that sat next to the commode on her left. It was then she really took a good look around the room.

It was stunning and was an extension of the man himself; casual, comfortable, rich, and elegant. It was a larger room with a recessed ceiling and its central light fixture resembled a skylight. The walls were painted a light ivory and apple green, glass subway tiles ran around the room as a three-foot high wainscoting.

Large beige tiles made up the floor. Oval shaped ivory rattan mats laid on the floor in front of the commode, vanities, shower area, and tub. All the cabinetry was dark wood with bar shaped silver pull handles and the hardware was silver. There were two separate vanities on different walls of the room, which were separated by a cabinet. The vanities looked like a piece of fine furniture specifically designed to fit their location. They had two drawers at the top and three doors on the bottom with areas of storage behind them. The sinks were set into light ivory colored travertine countertops.

Large beveled rectangular mirrors surrounded by frames of dark wood and silver hung over each vanity. The cabinet separating the sink areas had four parts and bridged the corner. Each side of the corner had the same design only in reverse once it rounded the corner. One part was open shelves where stacks of fluffy, light green towels and washcloths made their homes. The other part had silver pulls on a door, behind which were several shelves where he kept bath supplies. A small drawer and another door below hid more shelving and storage.

On top of the five foot high cabinet, decorating the joining of the two halves sat two, tall, silver vases. One held three, intertwining, Chinese bamboo shoots growing in water and heading to the ceiling and the other contained another one that had six lacing stems. Two square black and white photos mounted in silver frames adorned each wall above the cabinet. One was a glorious sunrise over the beach looking out at the water from his home in the Hamptons and the other was a moonrise from the same spot.

The second vanity made its home next to the cabinet. Near the second vanity to its right was a large walk in shower with a five foot high tiled wall that faced the room, which was divided in half by the open entry. The two walls that formed the corner of the shower were tiled and a low, tiled wall topped with clear, solid glass completed the square of the area. There were two shower heads, one on each tiled wall near the corner. Two small tiled seats joined at the corner and ran out along the walls, stopping half way. Alcoves were built into the walls and held soap, shampoo, and shaving supplies. Two rectangular, tiled, medallions graced the middles of the walls. Thin, dark brown, rectangular tiles surrounded small, beige tiles turned at angles so they made diamonds. The tiling on the floor of the shower was also turned forming diamonds.

Next to the shower was an ivory, stand-alone tub that sat near two tiled ledges. Several ivory pillar candles were set along the ledges and looked like little, wax sentries. There was a large, frosted window above the tub. Hanging on the wall below the window next to the tub was an ivory colored wall hanging made of wood that looked like interlocking shells. A round, silver, two shelved table stood near the tub holding bath salts, a soap dish containing soap, and extra washcloths. On the floor nearby the table, stood a silver towel rack holding two towels on it bars. A chair sat in the corner by the tub. A long black and white photo of a forest hung in a silver frame over the commode.

Looking around the room and seeing it's decoration, she instantly felt at home and like her things should be around the sink of the second, empty vanity. Items of his were on the vanity near the commode, she noticed, and his fluffy robe hung on a silver hook on the back of the door.

_What a wonderful room_, she thought. _I think I could handle using this place all the time, especially after…oh boy, making love with him_. She shuddered in delight. _I still feel like I'm on fire and we didn't even…he wasn't even inside me. What's it going to feel like when he is_?

She sighed out loud not being able to contain herself with the thought. _Wow, that was hard and powerful, never had a climax like that before. Feels like I had one for the very first time_. "Wow, he felt good," she mumbled to herself. "Mmm…ok, Kate, shower girl."

Stripping down by the tub and laying her clothes over the nearby chair, she walked over to the cabinet. She took a plush, light green towel and washcloth off a shelf and walked over to the shower hanging them on a towel bar on the wall.

Then she walked into the shower and turned on the jets of one shower head. Warm water jetted down and across and she moved into the warm streams letting them hit across her slim, fit body. She sighed, relaxing in the warm steam that was rising around her. Taking the washcloth, she picked up his soap and noted its masculine scent as she held it to her nose. Woody, spicy and that's what she often smelled when she was close to him. Deeply breathing in the familiar scent, she closed her eyes and smiled as memories of being aware of and sensing his wonderful and personal scent flickered through her mind.

She lathered the washcloth and began washing languidly. Twenty minutes later, she was dried, dressed in his T-shirt and boxers, and ready for bed. Running her fingers through her shower dampened hair, combing it down, she checked her appearance in the mirror and liked the new way she saw herself.

_I look different_, she realized, _happy, relaxed, and satisfied_. She smiled at her reflection then walked over to the door and opening it, turned off the light.

She walked into the bedroom and saw Rick sitting in the middle of the bed, leaning into a stack of pillows with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling with a satisfied smile on his face.

"Hey you," she breathed in a sultry, golden voice laden with caring and familiarity. "You look comfortable."

"I am." He took down his hands from behind his head and looked over at her as she slowly sashayed over to the bed.

"Still raining?" she asked.

"Yeah, though it's quieted down a bit. Just slow and steady now."

"You look better in that than me," he said, looking her up and down in obvious approval.

"Glad you think so because I like them and I'm going to keep them."

"Oh really," he said in a doubting way.

"Yep, surely you know the First Rule of Feminine Confiscation and Acquisition," she countered, coming to stand next to the bed.

"Does that mean whatever items of my clothes you look good in I can just give up ever wearing again, unless I manage to get you out of them?"

"Bingo," she confirmed with a grin and a wink.

Flipping the covers back more next to him so she could climb into bed, he patted the area next to him while he met her gaze.

"This place okay for you?" he asked.

"Of course. I always dream about taking over the bed of a ruggedly handsome man."

"Is that so? Well, tonight, and every night from now on, your dream comes true," he whispered. "Me, and my bed, are yours."

Smiling, she put a hip up on the bed and putting her knees together, swung her legs under the covers while Rick held them over her. He let the blankets down on her as she slid down into the bed and laid her head on the pillow making her hair cascade around her head like a dark auburn, crowning halo. Sliding down part way into the blankets, he propped himself up on the pillows on his left elbow. Looking down at her, he gazed slowly and deliberately at her beautiful face like he was remembering every little detail about her.

"I love the way you look right now with your hair all around you. It's so pretty and you're so beautiful," he said lowly as he ran his fingers through the silky strands lying next to her shoulders. She looked up into his blue eyes and reached up, lightly rubbing his chin with her fingers.

"Let me guess, many of your fantasies about me involve my hair falling over and around you."

"Affirmative, my sweet Detective," he teased.

"Well, how about I make one of them come true," she suggested earnestly, gently pushing him in the chest with her finger so he would lie down on his back.

He moved off his elbow and rolled onto his back leaving his arms out and down by his sides, waiting for her to make her move. Leaning over to the night table, she turned off the lamp. Scooting over right next to him and pushing her slim body tightly against him, she draped herself on his chest with her head on his shoulder. Though this was the first time they had consciously snuggled in bed this way, it seemed natural, familiar, and greatly practiced, like they'd done it countless times before and had mastered every move and position. They were like two basic elements that are naturally drawn together because of their innate natures, which then combine to make a greater whole.

Rick wrapped his arms around her as she got comfortable against him and she slid her left arm over his middle while pulling her leg over to rest between his. He moved her hair so some of the wavy locks lay on his chest and arms.

"That what you had in mind?" she whispered against his throat.

"For now," he murmured. They both sighed together as a quiet and satisfied peace settled and wrapped itself around them like a thick, warm, handmade quilt. "I have to admit, Kate, this isn't the way I imagined our first time in bed together."

"Yeah, me either," she whispered back. "I envisioned us naked and we weren't going to sleep."

He chuckled low in his throat. "That's exactly how I imagined it too." They were quiet a moment as he played with her hair and she rubbed slow, small circles low on his chest.

From their vantage point in the room, they saw the glittering light of the full moon playing in the folds of the drapes. Though the woven fabric scattered some of the light, it didn't dispel it completely from the room. The magical, ethereal, porcelain illumination danced over, around, and across the walls like lighted, minute, frolicking fairies sprinkling their mystical, crystalline powders. Little shadows wove their way around the room as the moon's glow was blocked now and again by the light rain spattering the windows.

The muted, dancing light played across Rick's hair and face, making his dark brown hair appear almost blue in places, as it swam around his eyes and made them glisten. His skin seemed to have a soft glow. He noted, as he toyed with Kate's auburn curls, slowly winding and unwrapping thin, wavy strands around his fingers, that the light made her hair look like very finely spun, shimmering, copper threads that had been expertly spun on an enchanted spinning wheel by some magically endowed master spinner. He could see by looking down that her eyes were illuminated around the edges and their depths were like green crystals. Her skin shone radiantly.

"We're lucky, you know that?" he asked.

"Actually, I do" she contemplated. "It's funny how this case has brought us to this point."

"Seems like the cases I remember the most are those that taught us more about each other and our relationship," he agreed. He placed a light, lingering kiss on her head and they snuggled in happy, companionable silence for several minutes just holding each other–just being.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked softly, his Kate sixth sense picking up her unspoken, thoughtful vibe.

"I'm thinking that everything is right now. The way it should be. Balanced, harmonious, back to normal with us."

"That's what I was thinking earlier when you came out of the bath." She rose up slightly from his chest and looked him directly in the eyes.

"How do we do that?"

"Magic."

"You helped me believe in that again," she breathed.

"You always believed, Kate. I just helped you remember how." Touched by his words, she leaned in and barely brushed his lips in a feathery kiss.

"You helped me stop running, hiding, and deceiving," she whispered.

"You did the same for me," he confessed. She looked at him with a bit of surprise not really realizing that he had been doing that.

"I did?"

"Yeah. I did my own form of hiding, running, and deceiving just like you. We both had our coping mechanisms."

"I didn't realize that," she frowned slightly and paused. "Makes me sound like I was selfish and self- absorbed."

"You were. But then again so was I. We both had a lot on our plates with…everything. Look, we hurt each other inadvertently, because of our hang ups and because we didn't want to fail with each other. Stakes were too high. Does that excuse the way we treated each other? No. But it's understandable. All that stuff is water under the bridge now, Kate. You're sorry and so am I. The fact of the matter is all that just made us stronger and more determined to work out what we knew was right. We were talking other languages and things got lost in the translation. But now we're on the same page speaking the same language."

"Yeah, we are," she sighed in agreement. "Love is a universal dialect," she smiled and nuzzled his face with hers.

"True. It's made us turn around and face each other staring into each other's eyes." She softly kissed him again, licking his lips a bit with her rosy tongue. "I love you," they whispered together and wide-eyed golden smiles resulted. She laid her head back down on his shoulder and re-draped her arm across his middle.

"'Night, Rick."

"'Night, Kate."

"See you in the morning," they said together again. She quietly giggled and he softly chuckled.

"I love it when we do that."

"Me too," he whispered back. Slowly, they fell asleep cuddling and holding each other close. Finally, they were happy and content. They were where the universe wanted them…together as soul mates. Their day that had been from hell ended as their best day ever.


	14. Epilogue

Epilogue

The sun was just rising, dispelling the rainy gloom of the previous day. Its faint, yellow-orange glow spread across the city like the glow of a freshly ignited fire licking around its starting tinder. The light sparkled and reflected off the metal and glass of the skyscrapers playing a vibrant, shining game of hopscotch as it slowly wound its way westerly through the concrete canyons.

In Castle's loft, the light of early dawn was just peeking through the closed drapes of a warm, cozy bedroom where a sleeping couple, spooned together, lay in a king sized bed partly covered by sheets and blankets. Kate slowly opened her eyes. She expected to see the familiar surroundings of her bedroom in her apartment. But this morning, she saw a different room and it was familiar from last night.

_Rick's bedroom_, she mused with a small smile, softly sighing as she moved just a fraction.

She felt the warmth of his body behind her. He was cuddling her tightly to his chest and hips and the light puff of his breath on her shoulders and neck where her hair had fallen down on the pillow gave her goose bumps. Rick's left arm was bent under her left shoulder and she held his hand in hers beside her face touching the backs of his fingers against her lips. His right arm was draped and wrapped around her. During the night, Kate had pulled up his arm, holding his hand with their fingers laced between her breasts. Their hips were locked together, cradling each other in intimate contact, and their legs were intertwined comfortably resting on each other.

_I love how this feels_, she thought with another contented sigh. _So right and natural. Like it's always been this way feeling him like this_. She felt Rick stir slightly behind her and smiled more. He was awake now too.

Rick opened his eyes and saw familiar auburn curls of hair near his face and smelled the faint spicy and woody scent of his soap that lingered on the skin of the woman in his arms. He breathed in a sigh of contentment and smiled. Kate was here in his arms and in his bed with him, and it was no dream.

_Oh boy, she feels good_, he thought. _This is right and the way it should be. Waking up with her like this is amazing_.

He felt her move backward against him and knew she was awake. Her back and shoulders moved across his chest and her hips slowly shifted over his while she adjusted her legs around his. He realized his fingers were brushing the swells of her breasts as she held his hand between them. The intimate contact of their bodies was igniting a slow-burning fire between them.

"Morning, honey," he whispered into her hair in in velvety rich voice.

"I love it when you call me that," she smiled back at him, rolling part way from her left side onto her back so she could look at him. "Morning, my heart."

He dropped a light kiss on her nose and then lightly rubbed his nose on the end of hers, nuzzling her face.

"I like where my hand is," he said softly, gently moving his fingers against the roundness of her breasts, as his fingers were more fully touching her curves.

"I put it there because I like it there too," she whispered back as a small, playfully sensual smile spread over her lips and her eyes sparkled.

"We fit perfectly together," he sighed, pulling her even closer against him and slightly shifting her back to her left side.

"Yeah, we do, in every way. We're yin and yang."

He leaned his head forward and nuzzled the right side of her neck with his face. Kate sniffed a giggle as the stubble on his chin tickled her shoulder.

"Umph…that tickles."

"I bet this doesn't," he said, lightly kissing and licking her neck and shoulder and then travelling down her back where his shirt didn't cover her warm skin.

"Mmm…" she whispered. "No it doesn't. That feels much more stimulating."

"I could get really used to waking up like this," he murmured in her ear as he continued kissing and nuzzling her neck and back. "I could stay this way forever."

"Me too," she said sighing. "I liked feeling your arms around me as I woke up."

"So you slept ok then? No more bad stuff?" he asked, momentarily stopping his loving.

"No more bad stuff. Best sleep I've had in a really long time. All because I was sleeping with you," she said. Rolling over and turning onto her right side so she faced him, she put her arms up between them, and cupped his stubbly chin in her hands. She lightly ran her hands on his face loving the feel of the light hairy roughness on her palms. He smiled, his eyes briefly closed at her touch, and then opening his eyes he turned his head and kissed both her palms with an open mouthed caress.

"Good," he sighed in relief. "You freaked me out last night."

"Sorry," she answered, leaning in and tenderly kissing his lips. "I didn't mean to."

"I know, it's ok. Hey, want some coffee?" he asked as he sucked in a breath and let it out in a whooshed exhale.

"Of course," she replied. "Have to have two things in my day, every day–coffee and you."

"Likewise," he said huskily, wiggling his brows at her with a wicked smile. He kissed her lips and in a flourish, threw back the covers, and hopped out of bed like a kid waking up on Christmas morning hurriedly running to the tree to find what presents where left. She giggled at his exuberance and pulled herself up in bed.

He dashed from the bedroom into the bathroom and washed up before going to make their coffee. Coming out of the bath, he strutted off toward the kitchen. Kate watched him walking away, raising an eyebrow in interest as she watched the rise and fall of his rounded rear in his boxers as he strutted. Eyeing him with a playfully sexy smile and an ornery look sparkling in her green eyes, she called after him.

"Nice ass, Rick."

He stopped and turned around, catching her in her appreciation, and flashed a wicked smile with a gleam of desire in his eyes at her. She lightly bit her lip in arousal. His face softened as he looked at her and she saw all his love for her right then. The more playful smile she had relaxed into one of tenderness as she looked at him. He saw her love for him shining on her glowing face. He sighed and turned around heading off to the kitchen.

She could hear him in the kitchen as he started making their coffee and swore he was humming some love song from the 80s. She listened closer, no wait, it was from the 90s by a band popular then and now. If she remembered the lyrics correctly, something about him loving her always, he'd be there forever and a day, always, he'll love me always. She wondered if he remembered that song and the band were favorites. She slightly rolled her eyes and shook her head with a contented smile.

_That's my Rick_, she thought.

Throwing back the covers, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Walking into the bathroom, she freshened up, walked back into the bedroom and climbed back in bed. Grabbing the pillows, she plumped them and stuck them behind her for support and comfort and then covered herself with the blankets. She smiled, gazing around the room taking in everything about it as the sun shone brighter through the curtains.

_This is where I belong_, she mused_. I'm happy, finally. I see myself here with him…forever. Sleeping with him, waking up next to him, getting ready together, and sharing everything._

An appealing thought. Yes, this would be her home too.

She glanced around the room again and then toward the bathroom. Remembering the warm rush of water across her body in the shower the night before as she'd relaxed in its steady, steaming streams, her imagination wove a naughty fantasy through her mind. Kate's internal cinema took her on a sensual ride as she imagined her and Rick making love in the shower against the tiled wall. He was lifting her up, pinning her against the wall with each upward thrust of his powerful hips, plunging himself deeper into the moist heat of her feminine folds. Her arms clung around his neck while her legs locked around his hips and she moaned in ecstasy with eyes closed and lips parted as violent tremors of climax raced through her body.

"Here we go," he announced, coming back into the bedroom carrying a tray with two cups of coffee, a plate of bagels with cream cheese, and a dish of strawberries. She blinked and sort of shook her head because his voice forced her out of her fantasy. Rick set the tray down on the right night table nearest her and looked down seeing she was flushed across her checks and down her neck.

"You have a funny look on your face," he commented with a quirky grin, pulling back the covers. She moved over more toward the middle of the bed and he slid back in next to her. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she smiled slyly, lowering her eyes with a small shake of her head.

"Kate…," he drew out, raising his brows in a perceptive look, knowing from the way her eyes sparkled that she was lying.

"Fine. I was having a naughty fantasy about us in the shower," she confessed, clearing her throat while bringing her eyes back up to meet his and blushing more because he'd caught her having erotic contemplations about them.

"Um hmm," he nodded with a lopsided grin at her embarrassment and loving what the blush did to her lovely face. "Well, if it's anything like _I've_ imagined…" he trailed off his thought on purpose, rolling his eyes and pursing his lips, deliberately implying their sexual intimacy.

"Uh… Rick," she playfully bumped his chest with her fingers and he chuckled. "Give me my coffee," she said laughing.

Rick grabbed the tray off the night stand and set it over his lap. He handed her a mug of steaming brew and then picked up the other. Kate carefully sipped the hot liquid, locking eyes with him over the rim of her cup. Playful desire and happiness flickered through her eyes as she was staring into his handsome face. He sipped his coffee staring back and all the love he had for her was shining in his eyes. He set down his mug and picked up a strawberry.

"Want a berry?"

"Sure."

He held the red, ripe fruit out to her holding it between his thumb and fingers. Instead of taking the berry with her fingers, she held his eyes in an erotic look and sensually wrapped her lips and tongue around it, taking a bite. Rick's eyes widened a bit and his breath caught in his throat as he imagined her doing the same thing to his manhood.

"What's the matter, Ricky, cat got your tongue?" she asked breathily, hoping he'd get the subtle play on her name that her voice heavily implied. "Have a berry, honey," she said picking one up as if to hand to him.

A devilish smirk crossed his face that made his eyes spark. He pulled her trick back on her. She smiled, shuddering at his sexy teasing, but wasn't surprised that he reciprocated her move. Then leaning in, she softly gave him an open-mouthed kiss, teasing his lips and tongue with hers. She tasted the berry juice on his mouth and he tasted the same lingering sweetness on hers. They pulled away from the kiss staring at each other.

"Good to know you like making breakfast an erotic affair," he commented with a radiant smile.

"Not hard to do when it's with you," she said returning his look.

Then they picked up their mugs, still steaming with their favorite drink, and sipped, knowing that this was just the beginning in so many ways.

And so began the day–the first day–of the rest of their lives together. Always. Forever.


End file.
